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I heard of a terrible accident involving Viagra, a rat trap, a fridge-magnet and a kitchen blender.
Stay away from that awful stuff!
- Dick Limpman

But what a magnificent pedantic prick, Lordy!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Zionism is terrorism.

A snort a day keeps me happy and gay

Cap'n you (RE) are a pedantic prick!

Ricky, if you ever change your mind about the tin hat, I know someone from Hellsong Industries Screeching Choir of Death, who can get one cheap!
However, you did put my mind to rest about crazy conspiracy theories. Your clear and rational analysis makes it clear that The Bible is absolutely and literally true on every point that it makes, no matter how many times it contradicts itself.
Thank the Good Lord that John Howard is protecting us from evil with liberal sprinkles of self-raising flour! I shudder to think what would have happened if some raghead substituted anthrax spores instead!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

The Third Testament shall be written, and Zion will be the tool God uses to resurect Mohammed on earth for one last fleeting moment before thrusting him into the firey pits of Hell, together with his deciples, to replace the weary Satan.

There ain't nothing twisted in my mind. I see things with total clarity, in vivid color, and with ordered rational reasoning. I know what's real and what is not real. I don't wear a tinfoil hat and spout off about wild and crazy conspiracy theories.

The TRUTH is as plain as the pruney looking bit of haggared flesh between a 90 year old woman's legs. It's terrifying to some; and very familiar to others. It is what it is.

The truth is that Islam is an evil religion; that true Muslims are evil people. The Jews are too weak to destroy the Muslims, and the Jews will ultimately be chopped down to an even more insignificant few than they already are. The Christians are even weaker than the Jews, but there are many more of them. Once the Jews are completely insignificant, the Christians will be slaughtered like cowering lambs by the Muslims.

But, nothing lasts forever, and evil will not reign over the world for eternity, but it will for a very long time. Mohammed will be the Second Satan, when God destroys the Evil Ones, and this too will be told to your decendants in the New Church of the Third Testament.

Please don't tell anyone, but when they got him into ICU, they discovered that the cheeky fellow had received a foreskin transplant!
- Reverend Veddy Pleasant-Fellowes

Listen you bludger, I'll suckhole as many important persons as it takes to make my nation relaxed and comfortable, and safe from self-raising anthrax flour!
- masked mystery rodent

Ricky, you are a very sour creature. Did some big kid steal one of your toys and you never got over it?
I can understand how a thing like that could twist your mind, but if you don't try to fix your condition it will inevitably get worse.
Just look at John Howard to see how this disorder can totally destroy a man's soul!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

I was unaware that they were thelemites. I don't know about cracking a joke, but they were into cracking a fat or two!
(most pleasing to the eye of The Lord I believe)
- Reverend Veddy Pleasant-Fellowes

Lordy, it is "you're" not "your". It is Oz that needs saving. And I will do my best!
UP, UP AND AWAYYYYYYYYY!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

He's ruled over the land of David with pride, with courage and zest so that, if and when Israel is attacked, keeping with the traditions of our fathers, Israel prevails over the infidels.
Let it be known, then, all free men are citizen of Israel, of zion, of jerusalem, of the land of christ - the king.

That XenoxNews.com is the last bastion of REAL journalism in the landscape of the Australian Media.

We will never shy away from telling the truth, no matter who it hurts. As for this story you will have to take it up with Pastor Pervy, but I have always found him to be as truthful as your average churchman.

Your the superhero Captain; your supposed to save us!

I was a member of the Exclusive Brethren and Jock McCrabb was never a leader, the EBs never used Aleister Crowley's Bible (always JND) and they certainly never had a pulpit. As far as their original teachings went, they were mostly teetotallers prior to the 60s. Is this supposed to be journalism????

It is true that people who feel compelled to make up rhyms are most likely insane. It is what the brain of a natural schizophrenic does to attempt to create order out of chaos.

Yossi, what crimes did I commit that caused me to be born and punished by Howard and his idiot supporters in this shithole of a ghost train horror ride?
For Christ's sake Kevvy, save me! (okay Jesus/Allah/Krishna/Jah/Apollo etc., you can save me. I'm not fussy under these circumstances...)
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Yossi, I bow to your brilliance! Pustule of deceit! Wow! I owe you one.
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

The Oz public is split pretty much right the middle, thanks to Howard's fear-mongering, rat-cunning and shameless sham, but his reign of bullshit is nearing the end. His own party will eventually disown him as the depth and breadth of his calculated deceit is acknowledged. Patience, brothers and sisters, patience!

We know Blair is a fool but not an imbecile like Bush. Howard is something else: a pustule of deceit, misrepresentation and callousness.

America has lost the "war" in Iraq, jusr as it has lost the "war-on-terror". It will retire to its billion dollar bases and watch the Middle East go up in flames... If I were an Israeli, I'd be booking my flight out of Tel Aviv round about now.

If it's got a tune...I'll be dancing!

Those tunes that he pinched from other composers, you mean. Still, we must go down-market if it's about Johnny and his gang.
How about Tom Cruise as a guest star, flying the FLAG(in-joke) for Suckontology and the CLAMS(in-joke)?
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Gee Digger, a great leader? Johnny you mean? I suppose from a suckhole perspective he could project that illusion. Who do you really think you're kidding?
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Rudd = John Howard's love child (genome testube turkey baster experiment gone wrong)

Rudd will be another Labor dud, just like the rest of them. Latham, Crean,Beazley, all duds.
Compared to our great leader they are pathetic.

Digger,
Cranbourne

The guy is a shameless liar, full stop. What gets me is he keeps getting away with it. Whats wrong with the Oz public! Are we all so bloody dense?

Johnny IS a "biological agent". He infected a shit-load of Oz dullards with his disease!
He's the disease, I hope Rudd is part of the cure.

Have another bowl of poo, Digger!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Yet another of the mean munchkin's lies has caught up with him: this time its his calling a bit of flour a "biological agent" and scaring the shit out of everyone! He definitely takes his cue from Dubya! Is there nothing the old bugger won't misrepresent to his own advantage?

Abdul you ungreatful sod. My mates were there in '42 when we defended Egypt for the Empire. Winnie came and visited the troops at El Alamein on the frontline. And then we went off and killed a lot of Germans so your lot could live under benovalent Empire rule. You should be lined up and shot!

Digger,

Cranbourne

We are all screwed! Only retards need leaders to tell them what to do. I don't know what is worse - scumbucket leaders, or their hero-worshipping, poo-eating dullards.

One thing you can't deny Ricky is that ol' Winnie liked to give it and receive it in the arse. He was a bloody sailor remember!

Johnny was very naughty with his mommy. He also got infected with genital wart virus.
Real leader material!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

John Howard has done a bit of mass murdering - some truth raping - taxpayer funded plonk-guzzling - some worshiping of dark forces - was more or less fatherless - may have slept with mommy a bit too long.
I reckon an eternity in prison would fit his crimes, but what would he convert to? Would the Dark Lord rescue his own spawn?

That Asian looking, sand-snorting, Allah praying, Jim looks more approrpriate with sissy asstralian scrumping on him.

She has a bad bladder infection from getting rhemed by her daddy's cammle.

FWIW, Mohammed has the same problem.

All I need to do is skip down to the bottom of the article and see "Abdul Tehran, 2003", and I need not read any farther. Whatever the muslim is saying is a lie. Then I can go back and read the article, placing negations in where appropriate and I can get something close to the truth. For example, the following would be more accurate:
___________
Sir Winston Churchill was never a right Royal Cunt.

The hard working man that he was, never relaxing at his Mason Lodge he couldn't regale his loyal and wize future leaders (the Howards, the Blairs, the Krauthammers) with reports of the impossibility of civilising the Arab. For, it was impossible to believe the barbarianism of the Arab in the first place. Because of these wise men, we can thank them that our civilzations are not the the mess as those created by the filthy, barbaric arabs.

He was never fond of makings grand speeches, wheras actions spoke louder than words during World War II. Nevertheless, Churchill wrote all of his own speaches, eventhough Chamberlain was a good speach writer in his own right....
_______________
I trust that civilized people are capable of making out the rest of the truth.


How do you like that you fucking appeasers!

In Malasia, they used to worship monkey penis, before worshiping sand apes. In Ethiopia, they used to pray to rodent dung, before praying to Choad Dung Ali. In Russia, the commies made them athiests, and now they pray to Satan Ali.

The only Muslims in the US that have converted to Mohamadism are fatherless, black prison inmates doing time for rape, murder and drug guzzling.

May Allah piss on your grave

Sometimes it is almost too hard...

Abdul, you are aware that Oz has its own Winston. I suggest you consider using J. Winston H. as a moving target next time you need hose practice.
He is every bit as awful a c**t as his hero and namesake.
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

jonny845

Q: Can I send you my band's music?

Sure! Feel free to send us a copy of your record, but first please read the info and follow the guidelines below (that'll give everyone the best chance of encountering more great undiscovered music in the Music Genome Project):

Music Genome Project Submissions Process:

1. YOU SEND.
* A CD (or a CDR, if it's in really cool home-made, hand-made artistic regalia) with your music on it. It must have a valid UPC barcode. If you don't have a UPC, you can register one here for about $15.
* A few pages of biographical information and related stuff about your music if you have it. We're interested in knowing more about you: press quotes, tour date information similar artists, and so on.
* Please include your band name and an email address on everything you send us. We don't want to mix it up or lose it. You get bonus points if the CD you send is easy to open, i.e. free of plastic wrap and tape.
* Also, you'll need to fill out and sign our music submission agreement form, available here. This assures us that you are authorized to submit the material you're sending.
* If you are a music label, please feel free to send info on your artists.
* Send to:
Pandora
Attn: Music Genome Project Indie Submission
360 22nd Street, Suite 440
Oakland, CA 94612

2. WE LISTEN. We love music, and we understand that many excellent records are out there just waiting to be discovered. We listen to EVERYTHING that we receive. Period.

3. WE DECIDE. Sadly, we cannot add every CD that we receive to the Music Genome Project. Our Senior Music Analysts (who are all excellent musicians and artists, and also generally cool people) are responsible for auditioning your submissions for inclusion. We will not contact you to tell you whether or not your music has been received or enrolled. We know it sounds a bit cold, but we're just too swamped to do more. Please understand. If you are concerned about ensuring that your CD has arrived, we suggest you send your package through the USPS with return receipt so you know that we got it.

The United States has the largest Muslim convert population in the Western world (over 750,000 adherents).

One need look no further than the Coalition of the Witless to find the motive for spreading anthrax spores. Detective work should start in Washington.
As for Polonium 210, America, Israel, UK all have the means and the motives.
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Are you suggesting the Russian mafia are behind the (forgotten and buried) anthrax scare?

As Max Gross mentioned earlier: this is sheep-country! What do you expect from a nation that started as a convict prison and then got rich on sheep!