Editor of XenoxNews.com Tex Lumbago has declared that controversial radio announcer Alan Jones would be welcome at XenoxNews.com if he is forced out of his current job at Sydney radio station 2GB.

 

 

Said Tex: "I would imagine someone like Alan would fit in well with our trio of right wing numbnuts Ricardovitz, Digger, and Patriot.”

Keen Alan Jones listener -  Fredrich Nietzsche

However others at the ‘News weren’t so keen. Longtime contributor FlimFlamMan questioned whether another “conservative fuckwit” was needed; while others like Herr Fucknuckle were not sure the audience Alan would bring would appreciate the diversity of views and perversions on offer at XenoxNews.com.

 

But Editor Lumbago remains unrepentant: “In this time  of crumbling media empires we should be willing and able to pick up bargains like Alan Jones when they are on offer. I mean, everyone knows his arse is for sale. If we can buy it now for a few shekels, why not?”

 

 

 

 

Legendary XenoxNews.com correspondent Max Gross has finally revealed himself in an online video purportedly taken in his top secret hideout.

In the dark and blurry video the famous writer has been found to have a heavy Eastern European accent and a penchant for tiny dogs. Already we have heard that Western intelligence agencies have been studying the release in detail trying to find clues to the whereabouts and identity of this rogue reporter. Said one CIA source:

"We have that bastard now!"


Other XenoxNews.com celebrities were quick to contact us for comments. Said Patriot, one of Max's sparring partners here at the 'News:
"He sounds just as I imagined him. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he was an ex-communicated KGB man."

LordyLordyLordy told us: "To finally see the man behind the giant intellect is amazing. And also inspiring. I am thinking of living in the cellar too after watching it!"

After famously firing a shot across his bows last April, editor of XenoxNews.com Tex Lumbago was less forthcoming about Max.

"So Max has decided to show us his mug? Good for him."

Readers now await the appearance of another XenoxNews.com luminary, Ricardovitz.

God only knows what he looks like!

Dern't you worry none, Julian Assange (if that tain't a queer-boy name, dern't know what is), we ain't gonna let no dumb Sweeds stop yer good work fer beatin the tar out of young galls with a piece of rebar wall fornicatin 'em. God 'll decide yer fate on that, but Ricky is here to carry onward with yer good work.

I done git some good 'ol boy tar send me this here li'll ditty on all that Racism 'n whatnot goin on at Monash University in fine Australia that them Australian intarlectuals is try'n desperately to cover up:

----------------------------------------------------------- RICKYLEAKS PRESENTS ---------------------------------------------------

International students studying at Australian universities is cry'n 'bout "alarming levels" of discrimination, isolation and beat-downs from prominant white kids. But, thar real story goin on here is that it is really that plagerizin Monash V.P. thats behind all this illegal alien cryin 'n whatnot. Here's what you wern't told:

Queer-boy Julian Assange

 

A Monash University study sponsored by an anonymous high ranking administrator has found that half the alien students interviewed was suffered from racial beatings, mean jokings 'n hazing; 57 per cent of female alien students reported physical abuse like titty twisters 'n ass slappin.

Then it come out that none other than plagerizin vice-chancellor Dave Robinson was behind all this.

One alien in 10 said they felt white folks is out to kill 'em in Australia.

"I wear my headscarf back in Brunei," one Muslim student said in her interview. But in Australia, "everybody was staring at me. One boy tried to give me a titty twister, when I screamed "Allah Akbar" at him. I wore that headscarf for three days, and then some white boy whispered something to me telling me that it's not safe. I decided not to wear it."

Rickyleaks has withheld the name of thar principal researcher cuz its a safety thang. Anywhoo that thar reasearcher said the finding of alien students who is feelin all paranoid and whatnot over a few innocent gags showed Australia had " tain't no welcoming atmosphere for international students.

The Researcher said safety, security and access to house-hold bomb-making materials were key factors in an alien student's choice about where to study. And with a slowing international student market, he cautioned that the findings should be "blowing-up alarm bells".

Almost two-thirds of students reported feeling isolation, loneliness and prejudice when trying to purchase fuming nitric acid, with females and those in regional cities more likely to suffer. More than two-thirds work or have worked here, with 35 per cent reporting financial difficulties.

The findings coincide with a new report to Australia's Big Brother Government urging an overhaul of the regulations covering alien students.

The report expresses concerns about students' pastoral care. Some even complained that they got taunted and whooped when they tried to plant opium gardens 'n let sheep graze in the University's public student areas.

Student care "is emerging as an area of considerable risk to not only the wellbeing of students . . . but also to Australia's reputation as a safe-haven for alien students to take care of serious business", it says.

But, there is a bright side to the study. Growth in the international market has continued to slide. The number of alien students starting study in Australia is down by almost two-thirds so far this year on last year.

Australia was "in danger of loser races" from alien students as universities in neighbouring South-East and Northern Asian became more cutthroat.
_________________________
RickyLeaks correspondent: Ricardovitz

The bastards are trying to shut down www.wikileaks.org.

 

Well here at Xenoxnews.com we ain't gunna stand for it. We are going to open up our own little document dump site: XenoxLeaks. You'll find it under Local in our Section bar.

 

Like WikiLeaks we'll publish whatever you want to send us. Secret cables, surveillance video, bugged phone calls, and any nudey shots you have to offer.

 

It will have the bastards running this globe quivering in their boots!

 

Got any dirt on this prick? Send it to us; we'll publish it!

 

He might be Premier now, but surely he has been up to no good previously. Someone knows - tell us!

There must be some birthday suit pics of Natasha out there. We ain't proud; send it to us and we'll put it on the web for all to see!

 

XenoxLeaks, like XenoxNews.com, is there for you to use. So use us!