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In a country where a repugnant, morally ossified creep like the Littlest Liar can get away with proclaiming himself a friend of the mythical Aussie "battler" then we as a society are truly FUUUUUUCKED! If only we had an political opposition in Australia, insead of (as in Amerikkka) a Me-Too party!

Don't you know there's a war on?! That's right: a war against the facts! And those fakers in the Oval Orifice won't stop until the place is burnt down to the ground. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!

As hopeless as the yanks
are the Aussies are even
more stupid!
Urged on by their ANZAC
myth
(Aussies Near Zero
Actual Comprehension)
they will follow the yanks
into the bowels of Hell -
time and time again.
It always turns into a
horror movie, but they
never learn.

I'm afraid there is no avoiding mentioning the "V" word: Vietnam. As in that U.S. assault - prompted by fraudulent U.S. allegations, as with Iraq - U.S. forces rampaged through a country they knew nothing about. As in Vietnam, they cannot tell - no seem much to care - who is friend and who is foe. As in Vietnam, they will eventually abandon a ruined country and feel sorry for themselves, while the victims of their ignorance and violence build anew. Ask the Vietnamese about chemical and biological WMD: the U.S. made extensive use of it! And unlike Saddam Hussein, they got away with it, too.

Fuck it. Just declare the 70 year old prick King!
As for it that dickless worm Costello...

Frazzled
Murrumbeena

But I thought
that the Sydney
DAILY TELE-CRAP
always told the
truth -

A lot of Aussies read
the headlines of that
paper.

Do you mean it's all a
load of...
Does that mean they all are...

But I thought
that the Sydney
DAILY TELE-CRAP
always told the
truth -

A lot of Aussies read
the headlines of that
paper.

Do you mean it's all a
load of...
Does that mean they all are...

The only possible reason the Howard government ever had for selling Telstra is purely and fanatically idealogical. As a source of government income it was/is a golden calf, not to be squandered if raising revenue and paying off debt was ever an honest concern. But John Howard proves time and again that he is the most dishonest - and appallingly devious - Prime Minister Australia has ever had.

Astute and angry as ever, Max! Barking Mad? Possibly, but these things must be said. Don't you just love the way the timid Treasurer crows about getting rid of taxes that he and the Howard government itself introduced in the first place! Once again, their actions demonstrate precisely how ignorant and distracted they feel the average Australian voter is.

Yeh but how about a bit more of that Pirate Porn. And this time I want some pictures goddamn it!

J.Howard

You have to ask yourself how Costelloser can even show his grimacing face in public anymore? He is such a spineless old Lib hack!

Wrong question. It should be: which country is more uninformed and ignorant of world events than Syria? The answer would be the same. I reckon if you got down to it, Syrians know more about America than Americans do about Syria.

Here's the really scary bit: in the puerile USA we all know Bush won a second term by rorting the "system" (i.e. won by fraud); in the UK Blair got a massive thumping, losing a historic majority, and looks ptreyy much pssy-whipped (No doubt he'll get the boot soon, courtesy of his very own Labor mates)... But in Australia??? The Mendacious Midget - a demonstrable liar, deceiver and prevaricator - was returned to office with historic contro, of both houses of parliament!!! This says a lot about Australians and what festers at the core of their cold dark hearts!

Tex, when you're right you're right! There's no denying this is the place and these are the facts: xenox news rules!

Quick! Let's rush some
Aussies over there to get
their heads cut-off.

Johnny is not one to let
a political chance go by!
Might be good for 10 years.

Aussies are cheap anyway...

The russians lost more than 21 million people fighting off Hitler and his fucken anti-red supporters. Even the jews "only" lost 6 million or so! And now Bush and his fucken creepy jesus cronies are surround russia again by expanding NATO when by rights that should have been scrapped when the soviet onion unpeeled itself! No wonder Putin is so fucken antsy. Keep it up Bush, you fucken moron, you'll give the russians a reason to bring back fucken communism!

Patriot you are a fucken A-1 class numbnut dropkick ratbag (I hope i didnt leave anything out!) George Fiddleedee Bush started a fucken arms race and now he cant put the bloody brakes on! Ever two-bit tyro is on alert now in case those loony creepy jesus freaks in the white house get the hots to attack them!

Abso-fucken-lutely bloody right! Johnny Germ is a psychopath. And wait til he gets his grasping claws on the Senate, it'll make his current idealogical rampage look like a fucken picnic! And all you dupes and dickheads who GAVE it to him in that last pathtic election will be screaming the loudest once the stench of it at last seeps in under and over your fucken suburban barricades!

Congratulations you are our 1000th story since we started publishing on the web.
Please drop by the office to pick up your free pair of steak knives.

Editor

Yes, I can feel the holy
urge from God rushing in
my blood: "GO MAD, GO MAD,
GET TOTALLY DERANGED!"

The voice of reason has
fled and been replaced by
images of holy crusaders
riding to an apocalyptic
carnage, led by that moral
giant of a man - St. John
Horrid of Ostrichlia.

As he urges us on from the
rear, we advance across the
smouldering wastes of the
REFORMED new world.
So brave are we, that even
the cries of little children
and the wounded will not
slow our advance.

By the sign of the dead man
on a stick we shall conquer
the infidels and the weak!

No wucking forries, mate!

Aussies are safe:
70 years ago in a vile
satanic ceremony, a true
child of Hell was spawned.

Raised by a right-thinking
Liberal-voting, nazi style
family, he festered in
obscurity until the time
was right.

He has now burst his carapace
and has slithered forth in
his hideous brain-sucking
inferiority.

Aussies are now led to their
infernal new lives by the
P.M. - the Putrid Monstrosity.

Dear Max
You lefties just don't understand!

Our plucky little arse-seeking
P.M. just HAD to lie prior to
the election, because democracy
is too important to leave to the
public - they may vote the
wrong way!

I am a swinging voter and I was
very relieved that Howard made
my voting decision for me!

Just imagine what would happen
if freedom got into the hands
of the public - the whole FREE
WORLD would be at risk!

No, I think we should all cool-off
and accept working for less than
survival and wait for the wave
of prosperity that surely will
follow. WE will not see it, but
our grandchildren's kids might
thank us.

It's time to stop using our
brains and to start trusting the
ruling neocon elite.

What the world needs now is
trust, sweet trust!

Tune into Alan Jones and let
your brain relax, Max.

This is the scariest thing. Bush's words are the exact opposite to his actual policies: he says he's promoting freedom, but is dismantling the US constitution; he says he's against nuclear proliferation, but ignore's Israel's nukes and is developing the home-grown variety; he says he's against "terr-ism" but has been keen in its application using cluster bombs, napalm and bunker busters in civilian areas... I mean, shit, people!

With the Three Amigos from Hell back in town for another show, the world has truly entered a NDA (eh-hem, New Dark Age, that is). As for lentils, they make me fart, but I see you've already occluded the atmosphere with your own anal exhalation, Patrot.

It's nothing personal, its policy: the Rodent honestly believes the poor should be killed.

I love the sarcasm!

If our plucky little
arse-seeking P.M. gets
invited to Bohemian Grove,
he would get a grand old
arse-opening initiation!

I'm sure they would find
him as tight as a fish's arse!

Go for it baby!
Get over there and run
them with deadly force.

We will cheer from a safe
vantage point.
If it all goes pear-shaped,
we didn't know you - OK?

You are such a kidder, Patriot.
There's not much democracy there.

The poor bloody poms have been
manipulated into a lose, or
lose worse scenario. Just like
poor dopy Aussies have been.

We shall all see awful things
soon enough - even the "winners"
shall scream.

Most yanks will not see the
awful joke in that movie.
Their attention spans are not
up to the job.

Most Aussies are actually in
a collective coma about their
own situation.

A sort of dull, hysterical
emotionalism obscures most
information and prevents any
meaningful insight for most
yanks and Aussies.

I hope Wole stays away from
Ostrichlia. The dullards we
have here would make him
cringe, or perhaps die.

One encounter with our plucky
little arse-seeking P.M.
would kill Wole for sure.

Aussies have not felt the need
for personal or collective
intelligence for some time.

Ostrichlia is on the way to
being the same kind of rathole
that Wole's Nigeria was.

There'a a war on alright: a war on the poor by Bush's stinking rich robber barons. And the Mendacious Midget was always one to kick the weak and suck-up to the powerful. Well, it confirms one thing for sure: there is no god but Satan!

It is a grotesque fact that in Iraq the cynical, self-serving lies and policies of John Howard PM - and his vainglorious UK and US mentors - have caused grief, destruction and violence on a scale to rival even Saddam Hussein.

i'll fucken lop it off for him; just hand me the axe and get the 70yr old arsehole to bendover...

Disgruntled,
Darlinghurst

too bad they didnt get Senator Bob Hill while he was overthere...
He could have asked them where they hid all those WMDs we invaded for!

Yep, Duhstralia has chased a bunny up its own arsehole. The good news is that the Tory Rodent party is guaranteed to implode eventually... Lets hope there's some fragment of Australia left when the cuints are through with it!

Dear Tanya

I regret to inform you:
It IS too late!

It has been too late for
some years now.

We have entered the catastrophe,
and we must ride this storm
until it has done with us.

You can thank the various Aussie
dullards that exist on the Left
and the Right of politics, and
also the wonderful supine Media
clowns, for letting us all down.

I am sorry - for all of us!
We have been too stupid.

fuck australia and all the arseholes that sail on her.

Ahmed,
Baghdad

I WAS AT HOSPITAL. in bed.
i called for the nurse.
desperately, for my bowels were about to empty.

but alas, she did not hear the call...

i was swimmin' in it!

Hey, his imperial Asshole King George reckons it's legit to make the first move! So if the mullahs feel threatened by Bushnik squeals and grunts, they have every right to launch a premptive strike on Amerika.

Not that the Bushniks have any real interest in democracy - at home or abroad - but its obvious neither do Arab societies. It's all about power struggles and greed. Now that's something the fucken Bushniks and the Saudi dictators share in common, big time!

Don't you meet "twat on the desert sands"?

Praise be to God that Aussie
democracy is kept safely under
lock and key by our plucky
little arse-seeking P.M.
Judas Weaklingston Hitler

The putrid Islamics hate us
because our freedoms have been
protected from public misuse
by our wise leaders.

We must remember -
Howardland Security says:
FREEDOM IS TOO VALUABLE TO BE
USED WILLY-NILLY BY THE PUBLIC.

I can sleep easy knowing that
freedom will not break loose
any time soon, and we will be
safe as long as it stays in
a secure hidden place.

Thank God we are protected
from the rabid lusts of the
war-worshipping Iranian demons
by the ANZAC
(Aussies Near Zero Actual Comprehension)
AXIS OF WEASEL forces.

ANZAC forces are ably led by our
plucky little arse-seeking
P.M., Judas Weasel Hellspit.
He has my confidence because he
led ANZAC forces to victory against
the turks early last century.

Having lived in fear of Iranian
madman attacks all of my life,
I can at last sleep secure in
the knowledge that pure Aussie
virgins will not be soiled by
coarse heathen bestial lusts
squirting unmentionable sticky
substances.

I am a Liberal Party voter,
and reality has never interfered
with my life.

What an outrage: sex with a donkey!
I think it is much more humane to have it with a gerbil, preferably squeezed tight up my ass.

Carson,
C/o QueerEye Guys

Yeh c'mon ya Mad Mullahs!
I's a double-dare ya!

President W Bush

The Americans are applying "political pressure" on the so-called government of Iraq to deny Australian imports and purchase US wheat. So much for your precious alliance Mr Howard!

Springtime for Howard? Winter for Australia!

The Rodent believes in the sanctity of ANZAC Day so much that he got the Turks to churn up the bones of the war dead to build a road so his loyal drunken supporters could get to the Gallipli shores for a drunken knees-up! And if there's a big fucken mess left behind, well hell, that's just the good old larrikan Aussie spirit, right? Tell that to the war widows and orphans you fucken opportunistic old geek!

The PM is getting fucken desperate! In a pathetic attempt to glean support from the pisspots and yahoos that turned the sacred shore of Gallipoli into a garbage dump, the old wanker actually compared the ANZAC ceremony with New Year's Eve revels at the Sydney Harbor bridge! Um, yeah, like one event commemorates our war dead and the other is a wild piss-up! Which is which?! Is the old cunt losing his rat-like grip?!