The latest polls have the Labor Leader Squeaky Albo winning election 2025 in a canter. There is still time for Liberal leader Dutton to turn it around, but he needs to pull his finger out quick smart.

However fear not Conservatives! The geniuses at Liberal HQ are already hard at work on it. Why, with ideas like this, how could they fail:

1. Stick a wig on SpudBoy's dome. Face it, Dutton ain't the prettiest fellow. In fact he has a mug that would scare a child. Good for being a Qld Cop, but not so good for a wanna be PM. Surely putting some fake hair atop his noggin has gotta help. Maybe it could even be purple so he could attract the 'swinging' voters.

2. More female representation on the hustings. I know Dutton thinks sheilas should only be in the kitchen and bedroom, but have him take one for the team and start campaigning with the multitude of female Liberal candidates.

Get this hottie back out on the hustings Pete! She'll send your approval rating sky high.

3. Stop hanging around with the Trump lovers. You can only do that shit when you are PM, not before.

Ladies and Gentlemen, your new Prime Minister.

4. Lie more. Claim your policies will make every battler rich, and every dole recipient poor. In fact, half of it would be true!

5. And if all that doesn't get the polls moving, say you will get the GST off Tissues. You will at least get the horny voter on side.

Always a vote winner. Get the GST off tissues!