In the future our cars will fly.
In the past we could all get laid; cause we were big and white.
Queen Victoria kept a pair of undies from her gardener under her pillow. "The smell," she said, "reminded me of my dear husband."
The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States was dreamed up after a night fucking black whores in Philadelphia. Ben Franklin had the key to the whore-house and allowed all his mates in. These scabrous documents and the tripe writing upon them are about as worthwhile as used toilet paper.
Only an idiot would believe otherwise.
Ancient Chinese Mariners ferried cocaine from South America to the Pharaohs of Egypt.
Don't believe me? Then go and fucking google it you arsehole!
When God split night from day all he was doing was looking at the crack between his missus legs...
These things my daddy taught me.
My history lesson ends here.
Charles
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- Tom Titmouse
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