70 YEAR OLD DICKHEAD AUSSIE PM SETS RECORD STRAIGHT

Australia's elderly leader PM John Howard today set the record straight on the Australian economy:

"I am only responsible for the good economic news; any bad news is obviously someone else's fault."
He then went on to urge Australians to focus on the positive aspects of his reign such as Danish Princess Mary:

"I mean, under my rule an Aussie kid has grown up and become a Princess! Isn't that the wonderful story we should be telling Australia?"