WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...

>>>>LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL
>>>>WAKING UP
>>>>
>>>>THAT MORNING.
>>>>
>>>>I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE
>>>>
>>>>PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A
>>>>PRESENT FOR ME. >>>>
>>>>AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET
>>>>ALONE "HAPPY
>>>>
>>>>BIRTHDAY."
>>>>
>>>>I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS
>>>>WILL
>>>>
>>>>REMEMBER.
>>>>
>>>>MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND ! DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO
>>>>WHEN I
>>>>
>>>>LEFT FOR THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND
>>>>SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
>>>>
>>>>AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID,
>>>>"GOOD
>>>>
>>>>MORNING BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
>>>>
>>>>IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD
>>>>REMEMBERED.
>>>>
>>>>I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY
>>>>DOOR AND
>>>>
>>>>SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND
>>>>IT'S YOUR
>>>>
>>>>BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."
>>>>
>>>>I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE
>>>>HEARD ALL
>>>>
>>>>DAY. LET'! S GO!"
>>>>
>>>>WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY
>>>>WOULD GO.
>>>>
>>>>WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE.
>>>>WE HAD TWO
>>>>
>>>>MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY.
>>>>
>>>>ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW,
>>>>IT'S SUCH A
>>>>
>>>>BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE,
>>>>DO WE?"
>>>>
>>>>I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
>>>>
>>>>SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
>>>>
>>>>AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND
>>>>SAID,
>>>>
>>>>"BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE
>>>>BEDROOM FOR A
>>>>
>>>>MOMENT. I'LL BE R! IGHT BACK."
>>>>
>>>>"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
>>>>
>>>>SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF
>>>>MINUTES, SHE
>>>>
>>>>CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY
>>>>WIFE, KIDS, AND
>>>>
>>>>DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY
>>>>BIRTHDAY".
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>AND I JUST SAT THERE...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>ON THE COUCH...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>NAKED.
>>>>