From the Horse's Mouth

OR - MORE LIKELY - FROM THE HORSE'S ARSEHOLE!
Critics say that "George W Bush opens his mouth just to find out what his brain is thinking."

The best way to understand how the Presidunce of the United States is thinking is to look at what that dim bulb has actually said.

Here, the "Leader of the Free World", having cheated his way into office, speaks for himself, possibly explaining why most U.S. citizens don't even bother to friggin vote. GENERAL QUOTES

"The fundamental question is: 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective."

Source: New York Times, 7/28/99


"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"
--The first Presidential debate


"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
--Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000


"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."
--Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000


"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I'm the dictator..."
--Washington, DC, Dec 18, 2000, during his first trip to Washington as President-Elect


ROUTINE BOMBING OF IRAQ

Q: What is the message that you want to send with the new bombing of Iraq?

A: The US is engaged in the Middle East and Persian Gulf. We will remain so. Since 1991, our country has been enforcing what’s called a no-fly zone. A routine mission was conducted to enforce the no-fly zone. And it is a mission about which I was informed and I authorized. But, I repeat, it is a routine mission, and we will continue to enforce the no-fly zone until the world is told otherwise.

Q: Does this signal a hardening of the US position towards Iraq?

A: Saddam Hussein has got to understand that we expect him to conform to the agreement that he signed after Desert Storm. We will enforce the no-fly zone, both south and north. Our intention is to make sure that the world is as peaceful as possible. And we’re going to watch very carefully as to whether or not he develops weapons of mass destruction, and if we catch him doing so we’ll take the appropriate action.

Source: Press Conference, San Cristobal, Mexico Feb 16, 2001

$4M for Iraqi opposition to work inside Iraq
The Bush administration has given Iraqi opposition groups permission to resume their activities inside Iraq with American funding, marking the first substantial move by Bush to confront Saddam Hussein. By giving the go-ahead this week to a program with the benign-sounding purpose of "collection of informational materials in Iraq," Bush officials moved beyond the policy of the Clinton administration, which harbored deep reservations about the Iraqi opposition.

The decision allows the Iraqi National Congress, an umbrella organization for groups opposed to Hussein’s government, to draw from $4 million set aside by Congress for gathering information relating to Iraqi war crimes, military operations and other internal developments. Some of the money has already been used by the INC for logistics and training outside Iraq. But this week’s decision frees up funding for opposition operations inside the country for the first time since the US cut off similar financial support five years ago

Source: Alan Sipress, Washington Post, p. A1 Feb 2, 2001


U.S. ACTION AT HOME & ABROAD

America is no longer protected by vast oceans. We are protected from attack only by vigorous action abroad and increased vigilance at home.

Source: State of the Union speech to joint session of Congress Jan 29, 2002


REBUILDING A COALITION TO PRESSURE IRAQ

BUSH: The coalition against Saddam has fallen apart or it’s unraveling, let’s put it that way. The sanctions are being violated. We don’t know whether he’s developing weapons of mass destruction. He better not be or there’s going to be a consequence, should I be the president.

Q: You could get him out of there?

BUSH: I’d like to, of course. But it’s going to be important to rebuild that coalition to keep the pressure on him.

Q: You feel that as a failure of the Clinton administration?

BUSH: I do.

Source: Presidential Debate at Wake Forest University Oct 11, 2000


U.S. INTERVENTION IN IRAQ WITHOUT THE U.N.

President George Dubya Enron would work to reestablish weapons inspections in Iraq;
Supported U.S. intervention in Kosovo because it was in our strategic interests;
Said option of ground troops should not have been taken off the table in Kosovo intervention
Would never place U.S. troops under U.N. command;
Supports a U.N. role in weapons inspections, peacekeeping and humanitarian efforts.
Source: GeorgeWBush.com: ‘Issues: Policy Points Overview’ Apr 2, 2000


NO NEED TO DISCUSS IRAQ!

Q Sir, after you've studied today the military capabilities of the United States and looking ahead to future threats, one thing that has to factor in is the growing number of U.S. allies, Russia, Germany, Bahrain, now Canada, who say that if you go to war with Saddam, you're going to go alone.

Does the American military have the capability to prosecute this war alone?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, look, if you're asking -- are you asking about Iraq? The subject didn't come up in this meeting.

But, having said that, we take all threats seriously and we will continue to consult with our friends and allies.

I know there is this kind of intense speculation that seems to be going on, a kind of a -- I don't know how you would describe it. It's kind of a churning --

SECRETARY RUMSFELD: Frenzy.

THE PRESIDENT: Frenzy is how the Secretary would describe it. But the subject didn't come up.

We will obviously continue to consult with our friends and allies. Your question makes certain assumptions that may or may not be true. But we will continue to talk with our -- with the people concerned about peace and how to secure the peace, and those are needed consultations.

Not only will we consult with friends and allies, we'll consult with members of Congress.

…

Q General Franks today --

THE PRESIDENT: We're in the giving spirit here.

Q Thank you, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: General Franks today?

Q He has said that he is drawing up war plans to provide you with credible options. Now, should the American people conclude from that that you're reaching some critical point, that a decision is imminent?

THE PRESIDENT: First of all, in the midst of the frenzy -- (laughter) -- I want you to note that General Franks is not here. General Franks is doing his job. And one of the jobs that the Secretary of Defense has tasked to members of his general staff is to prepare for all contingencies, whether it be in the particular country that you seem to be riveted on, or any other country, for that matter.

We face a -- the world is not stable. The world changes. There are -- this terrorist network is global in nature and they may strike anywhere. And, therefore, we've got to be prepared to use our military and all the other assets at our disposal in a way to keep the peace. So General Franks is doing what the Secretary has asked.

…

Q: Considering how much discussion has been going on recently about Saddam, do you feel a need to get out there and make a case for toppling him? And, if so, do you feel a need to do it before Election Day?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, Adam, what I need to do is to continue to, as we call it, consult with people who share our interests to make the world a safer place, and I will do so. The American people know my position, and that is, is that regime change is in the interests of the world. How we achieve that is a matter of consultation and deliberative -- deliberation, which I do, I'm a deliberate person.

I say it in my speeches, which you fortunately don't have to cover, that I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man, and that we will look at all options and we will consider all technologies available to us and diplomacy and intelligence.

But one thing is for certain, is that this administration agrees that Saddam Hussein is a threat and he will be -- that's a part of our thinking. And that hasn't changed.

Nothing he has done has convinced me -- I'm confident the Secretary of Defense -- that he is the kind of fellow that is willing to forgo weapons of mass destruction, is willing to be a peaceful neighbor, that is -- will honor the people -- the Iraqi people of all stripes, will -- values human life. He hasn't convinced me, nor has he convinced my administration.

Source: http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/08/20020821-1.html 21 August 2002


MISC. BUSH DROPPINGS - OH, THE DEPTH!

We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat — I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit." —George W. Bush, O'Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002


"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002


"There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all. ... I can't think of anything more deep than that right." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002


"My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific." —George W. Bush, who apparently forgot about a little something called WORLD WAR II, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002


"He [Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi] said I want to make it very clear to you exactly what I intend to do and he talked about non-performing loans, the devaluation issue and regulatory reform and he placed equal emphasis on all three." —George W. Bush, who had meant to say "the deflation issue" rather than "the devaluation issue," and accidentally sent the Japanese Yen tumbling, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002


"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." —George W. Bush, summing up his first year in office, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001 (do you think he includes 11 Sept in this year?)


"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." —George W. Bush, at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001


"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001 (Picture all those counters ascending majestically into the clouds!)


"The folks who conducted to act on our country on September 11th made a big mistake. They underestimated America. They underestimated our resolve, our determination, our love for freedom. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2001 (Bush no doubt hopes he hasn't "misunderderestimated" the fall-out from his connection with the the ENRON scandal).


"One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a — a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone." —George W. Bush, Denver, Aug. 14, 2001 (!!!)


"There's a lot of people in the Middle East who are desirous to get into the Mitchell process. And — but first things first. The — these terrorist acts and, you know, the responses have got to end in order for us to get the framework — the groundwork — not framework, the groundwork to discuss a framework for peace, to lay the—all right." —George W. Bush, referring to former Sen. George Mitchell's report on Middle East peace, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 13, 2001 (Well, don't know about that one, but Xenox News has "the framework for the groundwork" to expose this scurrilous moron's true agenda).


"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the — in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001 (And he's doing a top job at that!)


"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it." —George W. Bush, July 27, 2001 (Keep on plugging, Georgie!)


"You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles." —Goerge W. Bush, referring to his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, July 23, 2001 (I'd like to nuance that dangerous shit-for-brains Bush!)


"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —George W. Bush, in Rome, July 22, 2001 (Now that's what I call articulating!)


"It is white." —George W. Bush, asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001 (Somebody told him!!)


"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I — it's — I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values." —George W. Bush, visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001 (Jefferson must be spinning in his grave like a goddamn top!)


"I want to thank you for coming to the White House to give me an opportunity to urge you to work with these five senators and three congressmen, to work hard to get this trade promotion authority moving. The power that be, well most of the power that be, sits right here."—George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 18, 2001 (I guess maybe he does know something we don't!)


"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." —George W. Bush, at a news conference in Europe, June 14, 2001 (What disease is the U.S. suffering from? Stupidity?)


"I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't." —George W. Bush, referring to the McCain-Kennedy patients' bill of rights, June 13, 2001 (As honest a response as we'll ever get?)


"Can't living with the bill means it won't become law." —George W. Bush, referring to the McCain-Kennedy patients' bill of rights, June 13, 2001 (!?!)


"Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious — I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well." —George W. Bush, June 4, 2001 (Ah, ye, the gracious Bush clan, looking after one another, and letting the rest of the world go to hell in a handbasket!)


"It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots." —George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001 (And a sports philosopher to boot!)


"So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations." —George W. Bush, in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001 (Well-oiled? Damn straight!)


"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." —George W. Bush, May 22, 2001 (I suspect its much further than that!)


"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." —George W. Bush, May 14 (Let's increase those fatal shootings immediately!)


"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." —George W. Bush, May 11, 2001 (I guess they're here)


"But I also made it clear to (Vladimir Putin) that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe." —Georg W. Bush, May 1, 2001 (Sounds like a perfectly good idea to me)


"First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country." —George W. Bush, on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001 (YEP! )


"It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce." —George W. Bush, at the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City, April 21, 2001 (And where's there's bullshit, there's an accompanying odour)


"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican." —George W. Bush, declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001 (How about Arabic?)


"It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children." —George W. Bush, on "parental empowerment in education," April 12, 2001 (Plese, somebody muzzle this fool)


"I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better." —George W. Bush, April 11, 2001 (Are we to assume somebody actually writes this stuff for him?)


"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end." —George W. Bush, April 10, 2001 (You're getting there. George, you're getting there!)


"It would be helpful if we opened up ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge). I think it's a mistake not to. And I would urge you all to travel up there and take a look at it, and you can make the determination as to how beautiful that country is." —George W. Bush, at a White House Press conference, March 29, 2001 (OK, anyone for a quick trip to the North Pole?)

"I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." —George W. Bush, speaking at the Radio & Television Correspondents dinner, March 29, 2001 (How about "dickhead"?)


"A lot of times in the rhetoric, people forget the facts. And the facts are that thousands of small businesses — Hispanically owned or otherwise — pay taxes at the highest marginal rate." George W. Bush, speaking to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, March 19, 2001 (Facts? George, you silly boy!)


"But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the—that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans." —George W. Bush, in a media roundtable discussion, March 13, 2001 (Too much thorazine)


"I do think we need for a troop to be able to house his family. That's an important part of building morale in the military." —George W. Bush, speaking at Tyndall Air Force Base in Florida, March 12, 2001 (What's wrong with sleeping in a cardboard box? Thousands of unemployed U.S. citizens do)


"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it." —George W. Bush, in an interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001 (Incestuous pricks)


"Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open." —George W. Bush, at the swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman, March 2, 2001 (How about anuses?)


"My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt." —George W. Bush, in his budget address to Congress, Feb. 27, 2001 (?!!)


"I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese — that meant that they weren't very effective." —George W. Bush, during a White House press conference, Feb. 22, 2001 (He sure learns fast, this kid!)


"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —George W. Bush, Feb. 21, 2001 (Back to school for you then!)


"It's good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it's appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people's lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national — really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it."—George W. Bush, Feb. 8, 2001 (Guess again Georgie)


"We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House — make no mistake about it." —George W. Bush, Feb. 7, 2001 (Tell Rumseld to wear a condom when he's corn-holing Cheney, Georgie)


"There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it." —George W. Bush, speaking to Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2001 (Oh, you'll see it alright!)


"I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state." —George W. Bush, speaking to reporters, Jan. 29, 2001 (They fell off their chairs at this one)


"Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to — I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that." —George W. Bush, in a pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report (Ask the dog, maybe it knows)


"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment." —George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 (That's gunna be some assignment!)


"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure." —George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 (There's nothing quite like a successful failure, eh George!)


"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants." —George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 (Power to the people!!)


"If he's — the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a — is a noble institution I would — I would strongly reject that assumption — that John Ashcroft is a open-minded, inclusive person."—George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 (We agree)


"She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal — Antonio." —George W. Bush, on Laura Bush inviting Justice Antonin Scalia to dinner at the White House, Jan. 2001 (He don't get out much)


"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be — a more literate country and a hopefuller country." —George W. Bush, Jan. 2001 (I'm hopefuller already)


"It'll be hard to articulate." —George W. Bush, anticipating how he'll feel upon assuming the presidency, Jan. 2001 (Another unexpectedly honest response! I wonder if he noticed?)


"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified." —George W. Bush, commenting on Linda Chavez, Jan. 2001 (Advisors, please!)


"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods." —George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000 (That gas seems to building up)


"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." —George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000 (As long as you dont execute the rest of us, you ignorant pus!)


"I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida." —George W. Bush, Dec. 20, 2000 (Huh?)


"If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier — so long as I'm the dictator." —George W. Bush, Dec. 19, 2000 (Ask Rumsfeld, maybe he'll let you)


"The great thing about America is everybody should vote." —George W. Bush (Lucky for you nobody does, George!)


"As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker." —George W. Bush (Bend over!)

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law." —George W. Bush, Nov. 2000 (God help America!)


"They misunderestimated me." —George W. Bush, Nov. 2000 (A favourite non-word, obviously!)


"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." —George W. Bush (See you in the funny papers, Georgie!)


"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." —George W. Bush (Christ, we can't have that! Sound like communism!)


"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —George W. Bush (My wings have taken nightmare since this certified idiot hijacked the presidency!)


"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it." —George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate (Yep, that's explains that!)


"The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous." —George W. Bush (This is not a recording)


"One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected." —George W. Bush (Shit, i never expected THAT!)


"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —George W. Bush (How about a American fish and an Arabic fish?)


"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —George W. Bush (We have food fights all the time too!)


"We ought to make the pie higher." —George W. Bush (Yeah, what?!)


"Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is — I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president." —George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate, Oct. 2000 (100% of Iraqies, obviously!)


"The woman who knew that I had dyslexia — I never interviewed her." —George W. Bush, responding to a magazine article claiming he suffered from dyslexia (Godknows, Dubya's got some chronic mental problem)


"Laura and I are proud to call John and Michelle Engler our friends. I know you're proud to call him governor. What a good man the Englers are." —George W. Bush, Nov. 2000 (Science fiction?!)


"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness." —George W. Bush, in a CNN online chat, Aug. 2000 (And we believe you!)


"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.'' —George W. Bush (Wake up Georgie, time for you laxative)


"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read — I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." —George W. Bush, on MSNBC's "Hardball" (Please, explain it to us one more time)


"The fact that he relies on facts — says things that are not factual — are going to undermine his campaign." —George W. Bush on Al Gore (I guess that's why you won, Georgie)


"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating." —George W. Bush


"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve." —George W. Bush, speaking during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, New Hampshire (Keep preserving" you dumb fuck, maybe you can open a jam store in your retirement)


"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have — he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road." —George W. Bush, on Sen. John McCain (Who gets to Scotland - or Iraq - first?)


"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there." —George W. Bush, Jan. 2000 (Under your bed, maybe?)


"I don't want to win? If that were the case, why the heck am I on the bus sixteen hours a day, shaking thousands of hands, giving hundreds of speeches, getting pillared in the press and cartoons and still staying on message to win?" —George W. Bush, Jan. 2000 (Well, I guess its because you're a dedicated public servant, George!)


"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." —George W. Bush (What size bra is that?)


"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." —George W. Bush (I knew that!)


"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning? —George W. Bush (They isn't!)


"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign." —George W. Bush (You win again!)


"Actually, I — this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about — when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me." —George W. Bush (Me, myself, I and LOCK HIM UP, FOR CHRISAKE!)


"I was raised in the West. The West of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California." —George W. Bush (Pass the atlas)


"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then." —George W. Bush, reflecting in 1994 about growing up in Midland, Texas (Sounds like he's still on the sauce, to me!)


"The only things that I can tell you is that every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty ... I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas." — All Things Considered, George W. Bush NPR, June 16, 2000 (You missed one!)


"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal — federal cufflink." — George W. Bush At Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000 (Cryptic!)


"You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We're not going to forget this." George W. Bush to writer and editor Al Hunt, 1988 (A personal favourite!)

"Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people." — George W. Bush, Cleveland, Ohio, July 1, 2000 (Piss-off!)


"He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be." — George W, Bush On Rudy Giuliani, The Edge With Paula Zahn, May 18, 2000 (!!!)

AND ON THAT NOTE, AS THIS MENTAL GIANT PREPARES TO MURDER MORE INNOCENT PEOPLE IN THIS ORWELLIAN WAR ON SANITY, SAY A PRAYER BEFORE YOU GO TO BED TONIGHT. YOU NEVER KNOW, IT MIGHT MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE!