Fuckier, cuntier, arseier

The Official Motto of the Olympic Games. Ever since Zeus fired the starter's gun and Amun-Ra run up Mt Olympus to ravish Mother Mary, we have been obsessed by them. So here are some facts about the Olympics I am sure you never heard of...

1. It is well known that the original athletes in the Olympic Games of Ancient Greece competed in the nude, but did you know they also shaved their pubes so the assembled audience of pedophile philosophers could imagine the contestants were younger than they really were.

Artists rendition of an athlete contesting the 25km walk in Ancient Olympics.

2. The 1912 Olympics were held in Stockholm.

3. The first drug cheat outed at the Olympics Games was the Greek Athlete Zorba Papadopoulos who was initially awarded the 100m Sprint at the 1896 Athens Games. It was later found that he had drunk a bottle of Absinthe just before the race and was literally floating to the finish.

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Another dago on drugs. Long jumper Mexico City 1968.

4. Hitler lost his right testicle while jokingly attempting the high jump on a visit to Berlin Stadium where the 1936 Olympics were held.

High jumper remains after 1944 games in Normandy.

5. Maria won the Gold in the short lived hairiest woman alive competition in the 1960 Rome Olympics.

6. The Barcelona Anarchist Olympic Games of 1936 collapsed when the participants couldn't decide whether to accept the hierarchical decisions of the referees.

Anarchist "Our work is done here". Anti-authoritarian protest Beijing 2008.

7. The only Olympics to ever make a profit were the 1980 Moscow Olympics, partly due to the theme song "Moscow", but overwhelmingly due to State Planning.

Lenin checks the latest results from the Paris Games.

8. Australia is the only country to participate in every Olympics. But don't mention Montreal 1976.

The only Chinaman Aussies will admit to losing to.