Is there life on Ganymede or Europa or Enceladus or...

Where there is water there is life. That has been the mantra of astro-biologists for the last century. Well we are on the threshold of determining if this is true, for it seems now that in actual fact the Solar System is teeming with water outside of our tiny blue golf ball...

Could Mankind be on the edge of discovering alien life? An excting time to live, no doubt!

To give his opinion on the possibility of other life in the Solar System we throw the floor open to Professor Williams of the Xenox Institute.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I am a man of Science. Of that there can be no doubt.

My accomplishments speak for themselves.

With my keen intellect and rational mind, I can turn my gaze on any subject and discover things all the Professor's in Harvard would have never have dreamt of.

Alien life as envisioned by Prof Williams secretary.

 

My IQ alone is higher than a small countries GDP!

So let me turn my eye on the possibility of life in Solar System outside of Earth. The discovery of abundant oceans of water on the moons of Jupiter and Saturn by NASA’s pioneering satellites have upped the likelihood that there may be other living things besides us dimwitted Primates of Earth.

These tumultuous seas swishing around Europa and Ganymede, and who knows how many other places, could all be filled with weird and wonderful creatures waiting to be discovered. And of course for so many years Mankind has desired this. To know that we are not alone in this terrible and tyrannical Universe; that some other organisms shares with us the misery of no eternity or the right to make love for the rest of our days. So of course the cries go up: “Send a probe! Let’s dig below Europa’s icy surface and find our brethren of the Universe and commiserate on our woe begotten misfortune in life!”

But I say let’s not get too carried away…

Who wouldn't want to go to space with chicks like her on board?

Who knows really what we will find there? How will they react when they meet their ‘aliens’? If they are anything like us they will probably shoot first and ask questions later. After all we will be the ones invading their homes, their country, their world.

So our brave astronauts who will visit these places will need to be armed. And dangerous! These monsters of the deep probably lack any reason. They will certainly look abominable, and smell even worse. Undoubtedly we will need to be on our guard against these vagabonds of the Solar System.

In reality whatever life there may be, it could not compare to us. We live on a planet. These ‘things’ only live on a moon. So of course they are going to be a different class of living thing. And I bet they are likely to be nasty too.

So I propose that we should do what we do best. Bomb them and ask questions later. Why not test fire a nuclear missile on them? It will show them that we humans are not to be trifled with!

A warning shot across the bow so to speak.

Take me to the Mother Ship

And only after that should we begin to seek them out. After all we have already lived without them for many eons, we can live without them for even longer if needs be.

Gentlemen let’s cut to the chase. I say nuke the fucking lot of them before they nuke us!

It really is the only logical course of action.

 

Thank you and good night,

 

Prof Williams

Xenox Institute

New Guinea Highlands

 

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