The Hound of the Bush-cur-viles

Has DNA matching solved a weird
mystery of deep bestial terror? It has been a well kept secret
that President Bush of the USA
has been cursed to be stalked by
a great drooling hound from the
bowels of Hell.

Typically the hound would attack
from behind, push the President
around in the dark, all the while
clutching onto the presidential
leg that the panting hound would
be raping very energetically.
The panting, drooling and sucking
sounds would be so terrifying
that the shocked President would
faint, only to be found much
later, moaning, and in a total
daze with a trouser leg wet with
bestial semen and drool.

The breakthrough in this case
came when detectives realized
that the terrorist attacks
occurred only at times when
Judas Winston Thatcher, the PM of
Ostrichlia was a guest of the
terrorized President.

DNA matching of the semen stains
and examination of the suck marks
has led to the Ostrichlian PM
becoming the chief terrorist
suspect in this awful case of
wicked, twisted, bestial terror.