HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN MORPHINE!

TEX LUMBAGO 22 November 2005 1 minute read

In perhaps the greatest scientific breakthrough of the century, scientists have discovered how to make your own body produce morphine:

Stimulate the phagocyte! Wei Zhu, Patrick Cadet, Geert Baggerman, Kirk J. Mantione, and George B. Stefano
"Human White Blood Cells Synthesize Morphine: CYP2D6 Modulation"
J Immunol 175: 7357-7362.

5 Comments

Subscribe Unsubscribe
Oldest
- Best
- Popular
- Newest
- Oldest

Loading comment... The comment will be refreshed after 00:00.

This commment is unpublished.
agitprop · 21 years ago
Well thank christ for that! Now I'll get some fucken sleep!
- 0 Up 0 Down
- Reply
- Share
This commment is unpublished.
Chato · 21 years ago
I've told 'em so many times,
"stimulate the phagocytes",
"just stimulate the phagocytes".
Did they listen to me? No!
It can make you feel so unwanted.
- 0 Up 0 Down
- Reply
- Share
This commment is unpublished.
Anonymous · 21 years ago
I tried stimulating the phagocyte next door but all he gave me was some brasso?

Wiggins
- 0 Up 0 Down
- Reply
- Share
This commment is unpublished.
Chato · 20 years ago
Bad dope!
- 0 Up 0 Down
- Reply
- Share
This commment is unpublished.
Captain Ignoramus · 2 years ago
Can we get a more detailed synopsis? Hate these bloody scientists acting like gate keepers. Let us in!
- 0 Up 0 Down
- Reply
- Share
This commment is unpublished.
Dr Genius, Harvard U · 2 years ago
@Captain Ignoramus Shouldn't have been such a wiseass in school then, shouldn't ya Captain!

Look, us scientists aren't going to pass our secrets and knowledge onto to dim wits such as yourself. If anything, the events of the last few years has shown that it is impossible to teach science to the hoi polloi. They cry 'conspiracy' and 'armageddon' at even the most basic Public Health scientific precepts.
- 0 Up 0 Down
- Reply
- Share