SUCKHOLE VIRUS ATTACKS OZ

A filthy brain-softening
virus spreading from
Canberra is converting
Oz citizens into ravening
zombies who cannot tolerate
any reality entering their
sick minds, and who seek
to silence those who would
dare to speak the truth.
Virologists are puzzled by
the appearance of a mystery
virus that has the potential
to convert Ostrichlia into
a nation of sulky, violent
monsters. This is the first
virus of its type that has
political features.

Apparently the afflicted
victims reveal all the
behavioural mannerisms of
retarded, sulky children.
The absence of any sense
of reality or justice allows
them to vegetate below the
normal human level of
functioning.

An especially dangerous
characteristic stems from
the absence of a functioning
brain of their own in its
victims and this creates a
violent desire to spread the
virus to healthy human brains.

A dim vegetable awareness
remains in the virus victims
and allows them to detect
and react to healthy brains,
forcing them to seek and
destroy them.

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