WHILE YOU SLEEP (1)

PM'S FINAL SOLUTION TO SILENCE CRITICS:

Proposed new "anti-terrorism" laws in Australia will allow suspects as young as 10 years old to be strip-searched, "grilled", and imprisoned incommunicado.

Such laws would not stop terrorism but would certainly be able to silence critics of the Government.

It would allow ASIO to "disappear" people, as occured in such bastions of democracy as Argentina, Chile and Salvador.

This truly dangerous legislation is the brain-dead brain-child of shit-for-brains gimp Prime Minister John Howard. "We are a close ally of the United States, properly so, we have taken a strong stand properly against terrorism," he said. "Anything President Bush does we insist on doing too!"

Legislation currently before Parliament will give ASIO spooks the power to grill "terror suspects" for 48 hours without charging them, without legal representation and without the right to silence.

Proposed legislation describes a "terrorist act" as serious damage to person or property to advance "a political, religious or ideological cause".

ASIO could detain innocent friends, spouses and children of a suspect, or anyone else, leaving families ignorant of why he or she had disappeared.

There would be no compensation for torture, mistaken identity or when ASIO's suspicions were baseless.

Just about anyone not entirely docile and subservient to the ruling elite could be locked up for life.

This will shut my critics up for sure, the PM crowed. One word and I'll accuse them as terrorist suspects!

And anyway, it's not as if Australia actually has a Constitution that protects the rights of free speech, association and assembly!

The PM also praised Usama bin Laden - wherever he may be.

Without Mr Laden's antics, the PM grinned, we'd never have gotten away with fabricating that porky about reffo's chucking their own kids into the sea!

And we certainly would not have won a third term in office!

The proposed legislation provides no penalty for ASIO officers who mistreat or torture "terrorist" suspects.

Ladies and gentlemen, stay attuned.