Sleeping on the job

It is lazy bludgers like you that live off the backs of hard working aussies.

Why don't you wake up, go back to India, and get the Commonwealth Games fixed up?

You're a disgrace!

Digger,

Cranbourne

They call them Fakirs for good reason... they are always faking it.

As a true practitioner of the ancient and true arts of Guruing I can teach you, oh gullible western fool, the secrets of mystical India.

And you can be sure there will be no sleeping on a bed of nails!

Not at all. My teaching is incisive, deep, to the point, and easily affordable both in time and money. In fact for a lousy few hundred dollars I can give you enlightenment, happiness, spiritual potency, and fix your bad back.

It really is that simple.

You see I subscribe to Swami Vishnufishwuckers view that no westerner is too ignorant, too spiritually backward, too stupid not to gain from the teachings of the mystical east.

Look at our vast catalog of celebrities who have benefited from us in the past:

John Lennon
Mia Farrow
Richard Gere
The Beastie Boys
Shane Warne
John Howard

OK. I lied about the last one. But there is no denying, you cannot deny in fact, that we offer a life changing experience. So why not hop into your private jet plane, wing your way to Bangalore and I'll have one of my own hand maidens personally pick you up from the airport.

What are you waiting for!

Is that you Larry?

[img]http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab118/xnws/larry.jpg [/img]

Do you accept credit cards Guru Gym?

Why is y'all Australians keep puttin pictures of opium-zombie semi-sandn*g*e*s? Dern't you white boys like white galls? Thar smarter 'n pertier then all them other mud folks. 'n I dern't mean them slutty whores neither. Nosiree, jest good 'ol nice wite galls. God fear'n galls. Y'all woulnt know what tar do if a real genuwine Christian girl smiled at ya. Yer to fixtated on queers 'n preversion. Devil's got ya by yer pecker.

Made up my own God. I call him Vashna. Lord of all creation.

And has a might big pecker to smite the unbeliever.

Yay! All pray to Vashna; God with a giant Cock!

Old person: I want to live.
Me: Eat mushrooms and tempeh.

@All praise to Vashna And he will smite that stinking hillbilly for all eternity in the afterlife.

You can guarantee it.

Vashna - she be dat li'll coal-black pickaninny live down off 76 'n 441 in da gooberment housi'n in Clayton. I reckon a handfull 'o them darkies tain't scared 'o no 'lectric Cross high 'top thar Mountain. Funds is tight fer the now-time. Gonna have tar teach them li'l ones tar make burnnin crosses outa icypole sticks 'n pine tar.

Anywhoo, Vashna, tain't nobody live in the earthly realm fer ever. We's all gonna kick off when God pulls our ticket. Cain't be smitt'n but one time - tain't no tatercurls fer ta stopp'n me. So be let what be be!!!