Reader's Question: Which religious figure best represents the "woke mind virus"?

I'm going for Gilgamesh. just to piss off the MAGA fuckwits.

I like JC as the original Woke Man. Friendly with the poor, forgiving with the sex worker, and with an overwhelming hatred of the monied class, Comrade Jesus Christ was a well known socialist individual. Why, he even wore the sort of clothing a 'they/them' person can often be wearing!

Come on, Satan was obviously the original Wokester. What, with his whole 'Do what thou Wilt' schtick, you can clearly see his woke mind at work.
And with that any doubts on the evilness of woke can be clearly dismissed.

'Lect Ricardovitz. Cuz, I'm a gonna FIX THAR SHOOTER'S PARTY manifesto:
1. Git rid 'o the 1996 National Firearms Agreement of COAG.
2. Git rid 'o the establishment of a Commonwealth Firearms Registry,
or any other interference by the Commonwealth in the constitutional
authority of the States to legislate the ownership and use of whatever thar fornicate kinda gun ya want.
3. Remove Federal red tape regulation for firearms imports from U.S.A, ware they make sexy AR-15's 'n whatnot .
4. Support and promote Australian firearm manufacturers and suppliers
for domestic supply, fer shipment to U.S.A. of battle rifles, 9mm handguns 'n big-ass machine guns. 5. Expand self-defence rights and lethal means of protection ta ALL good citizens.
6. Support and promote national education and safety programs for
buld'n yer own AR's, AK's, Glocks 'n big-ass machine guns, and use.
7. Increase funding to ‘Shootin Australia’.
8. Introduce mandatory sentencing for any cock-suck'n gooberment sissy-man who even THINKS 'bout tak'n yer guns away!!!

@Ricardovitz You got my vote Dicky! I need a pop gun in my hands to bring justice to my lands!

For instance, I can't even get a root any more. Surely a firearm will solve that problem for me.

Don't you think Dicky?

Glad ta have yer vote, Trevor!!! We need thar good Australians ta stand up to them evil-doers, nefarious stooges, 'n gun-grabbin mouse-wives. As fer roots, we git sassafras 'n ginseng root 'round here. Can make dern good cash root'n fer ginsing - more than a good still 'll git ya!!!