MY FAVOURITE PASTORS

An occasional foray into the world of Pastoral Spiritual Care…

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Nowadays it is hard for an average Joe and Joanne to find their spiritual healing. The rat race keeps racing, work never ends, and we have a phone up every orifice.

Where can a lazy soul find the quick and easy spiritual solace we all need?

In days of old we could turn to the local church or mosque, where some over-entitled blowhard would pound the sins of the world into our face. But we are over that now. We want someone who can tell us how good we really are, and all we have to do is wish very hard and we can all be rich. And we want to hear it from the comfort of our living rooms.

So I’ve scoured the internet and found who today’s new Spiritual Healers are. These modern day marvels can lift your spirit and lighten your wallet in no time…

 

First up Pastor Rick Warren.

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Look at this fuckwit. Here he is with Oprah discussing how life is like a pack of cards.

 

How about no, that is just rubbish. Actually you are just another dodgy God botherer trying to fleece any fool stupid enough to believe you and your bible laden crap. Unfortunately this cunt has made millions from just doing that.

And I reckon he 'found' the cards for god idea from this

 

However, if you like your spiritulity tame, blind, and stupid; Rick is the man for you. In fact his rubbish is a perfect mirror of the 'close your eyes and wish' mentality of most of the USA.

 

 

Next we will look at the other purveyor of dumbass spirituality for the bourgeois, the Dalai Lama.

 

 

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  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    Yeh get out there and bare your sins!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    Whats wrong with the Dalai Lama? I get all my spiritual guidance from this fellow and he seems lovely and charming.

    Especially when I am very very very stoned.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    I prefer the floating negro fella. He looks like he'd have more truth.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    Fuck I hate that cunt the Dalai Lama. The rubbish he dispenses could from a weeties packet. They sure pick dickheads for that job.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    Warren tain't but a turn-coat commie-lovin, Kalifornia Kook. I git half a mind ta invite that commie-poluted sissy ta my camp fer some good 'ol southern spiritual healin. We'll git him right in the head, yessiree. Take him up to that thar 'lectric Cross 'n git his head all cleared out.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    You are truly a superstitious fuckwit Ricky. What difference between your dumbarse Jesus and his? None! Not a cracker.

    So why not take that electric cross and shove it up your 'god fearin' arse!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    I'm gonna school you on my Jesus, boy. My Jesus was a warrior - a fight'n fer what be right 'n just. Died on thar Cross fight'n gooberment stooges. THAT'S RIGHT DIED FIGH'N THE JOOOOBERMENT!!! 2000 YEARS AGO! Tain't noth's changed. NOTHIN!! That thar Kommie-Kook Warren is doin a jib with the Devil - Obama. Dancin with the Devil ain't what Jesus 'd do. Nosiree, JESUS WAS ALL 'BOUT FIGHT'N GOOBERMENT TYRANTS, NOT COMISERATI'N WITH 'EM.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    Well that's all well and good but was he also fighting for less goverment regulation and free trade between Judea and Phonecia?
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