some (ab)normal yearnings. In private conversations with
his special radio-world friend
and bum-chum Alan,
(notorious public loo creeper
and corporate arsewipe) -
the pathetic, old and twisted
Uncle Suckhole spoke of secret
urges to be, as he put it,
"just like decent people"
For instance:
One fantasy was that he would
some day get off welfare and
get a job, so that he could
restore his lost self-respect
and stop bludging off the poor
bloody taxpayers.
His strongest fantasy however,
was to be born as a bronzed
Aussie, and to be bayoneted in
the guts by an enraged Turkish
soldier, thereby affirming his
loyalty to a noble foreign power
and setting an example of
self-sacrifice for all Oz boys
in the future.
When he heard of the PM's urges
Labor's Wind Bagzly replied with
some passion. "Me too!"
