Solutions to Ethical Conundrums

That's a tough one.
But I'd say after you have done everything you can with mice it's time to switch species and start sticking needles into the kiddies.

Prof Doherty

Well firstly if your going to do it, you should do it right. New inbreed strains would have to be developed so that all experiments would have the correct control groups and to eliminate any genetic variation. Obviously twins are ideal. And finally genetically modified children would be a useful experimental tool.
So once that was all done I would say that yes, children can now be experimented on.

Dr Benway

Parents have been experimenting on their children since time immemorial. Usually the first born cops the brunt of it as new parents struggle to come to grips with how best to raise a children. As successive children are born the parents are more comfortable in their role and are less inclined to dabble.

It is my opinion that children have been experimenting with their parents since the beginning of time and not the other way around.

Dr. Zeuss

Maybe you shouldn't start be experimenting on the whole child first; just bits at a time. Y'know, like removing a toe or finger to start with.
That would be the most humane way to do it.

Curious,
Box Hill

They should make a special room at schools, right? And when the little bastards misbehave, or talk back, the teacher can say "one more time and your off to the special room". And if they do it one more time then send them there!
And in this room can be doctors and nurses and scientists with their white coats, and lots of big needles, and saws and stuff like that. And thats where they can do the experimenting! Right in that fucking room so those little bastards and bitches can get what they deserve!

ex-Teacher
Larundel Psychiatric Hospital

What about eating them? I mean we are facing climate catastrophe and food could run out.

When will eating children be allowed?

Y'all is 'bout as stupid as they come! Bad li'll boys 'n girls make good workers. Good workers make thangs you can sell fer money. The badder they is, the more spirit they git fer workin. I can take the dumbist meanist cuss of a child 'n set him ta choppin wood. I git 'nuff dead wood on my land to fuel 50 pig-smokers fer a year. But, pig-smokers dern't bring near the $$$$ that dumb 'ol lazy tourists do Septembre - April. I sell 'em a cord o wood fer $5.00, sometimes high as $8.00. 'N I git more money-makin work fer 'em to do, dern't you worry none.

Y'all send me the baddest meanist homeboys you can find 'n I'll squeeze a small fortune from 'em. Shoot, we been doin that fer hundreds of years, I reckon. Tain't no one better at it than folks in these here parts.