Dear Ricky...

Although, Elton John is really nothing but a novelty left over from the Oldies radio stations, every now and again you see this scrawny ancient fruit-cake blibberin' about a bunch of nothing. Usually nothing more than some drug-induced flashback about delusional world-peace or something stupid like that. I have done a little research into some of the questions you have posed concerning the interpretation of Mr. John's poems. First, you should know that making things rhyme is a sure sign of mental illness. Coupled with homosexuality, I'd say that Mr. John is not only sexually retarded, but also suffers from mild forms of schizophrenia, and neurosis. "Daniel" is neither Mr. John's personal friend or his brother. He is a man despised by Mr. John, and despised by many of his bretheren. Mr. John is clearly making a covert reference to Daniel Carver, the Imperial Wizard and Grand Dragon of the Invisable Empire of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, in Oakwood Georgia. In his poem, Mr. John is calling upon the homosexual underground to destroy Daniel carver. The message is delivered in secret code to a particular cell of homosexuals based out of Atlanta Georgia. The threat to Mr. Carver was thwarted over two decades ago in a stealthy raid on the Atlanta based cell. The "rolling like thunder....call it the blues" poem is again proof that Mr. John is a very mentallty ill indiviudal. It also shows his human side, in that even Mr. John fanticizes about sex he can't have, thus getting "blue balls" as a result of his sexual frustration. "Rocket Man", believe it or not has nothing to do with homosexuality or any covert opperation. It is simply Mr. John's fantasy about wanting to be an astronaut, in rhyme of course, which does further indicate mental instability.

I think you have summed it up very well.

Thank you.

Poor old Elton really lost me when he recycled his Norma Jean song.
Maybe in a parallel universe, John Howard could marry Elton and become Mrs John John.

...and Hyacinth could at last be PM!

Supposedly, Elton John converted to Islam over 1 year ago and is comingout with a new album titled: Islam doesn't consider me sexually retarded, until 3 Muslims catch me in the act. Track list: Ode to Turkish Prisons, sweet delight Iraqi gang rape - Oh, why can't it be me. All Mohammed needs is Love - and here I am to give it to him. Crescent Circle Jerk Mohammed said Pigs ain't for eat'n, but they's sure fun for fuck'n. Mohammed, Mohammed, let me play your organs with my talented fingers. One sweet kiss, Abdul Hamid, that's all I ask from a Muslim Jerk'n in a Burka

It contained tunes like: Jesus why is Judas cock up your ass? Have a shave you bum Messiah Thank you Lord for all those Dumbass Yanks My Poofy Patron St Paul The night I fucked Mother Mary… And the all time classic: I’m a Christian and I hate sex.

1) If I weren't an Athiest I'd be a Muslim 2) Convert me, Mohammed I have a fetish for obese mule-faced women in Burkas 3) I wanna believe; but I'm affraid God will see that I'm an evil idiot 4) I believe, I believe, NOW can I be a suicide bomber? 5) I once was a Jew; and now I'm an Atheist who hates my mommy and daddy 6) Why did Daddy rape me while mommy watched; Now I hate you God! 7) Yep, stupid liberals really do what this old Atheist has to say about linguistics 8) Pssst, I give everyone an "A" because no matter how stuipid they are, THEY DESERVE IT!!