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#AskBoxhead - In a world on fire is a box safe?

Oh what a dreadful world we live in! War, fire, and idiocy all around us. Nothing is permanent, and the shit rises to the top and leaves the best behind.

Yep, all bad except for our man Boxhead. A totem of strength and vigour for all humanity during these dark days. One needs to only look into the bottomless pit of his eyes to know here is a Man that can inspire us all.

Today some French fella expresses his fears about flammability to our hero...

boxy

Hello Master Boxhead.


The recent news of wildfires engulfing the world gives me some concern for your safety, and also about your advice that we should put a cardboard box on our heads. I mean, is it really a wise guidance to do this given that that even if you are kilometers away from the conflagration, all it takes is an errant spark on the wind to land on your box and, hey presto, your head will be aflame? I for one wonder if you still stand by your previous proclamations on the utility of 'shrouding your noggin' in cardboard? 

So. What you think of that?

Papillon, Bordeaux

 

Dear Pierre,

Yes, I have seen that things are getting a little warmer over on your patch. I do hope that your little shack and vineyard survives whatever is coming its way. 

Now I know that cardboard can be quite burnable. And fire is always an ever present threat. But don't you think I would have thought about that François? Do you think it may have passed my mind?

Listen mate, I'm from bloody Australia. We invented bushfires!

Look, there are no worries Jean-Paul, I have a tried and true method for you and your box to stay protected. Make it a little moist. Not so much that it sags off your mug like a hot scrotum, but just enough to keep it safe from any fire. Also it will have that lovely wet cardboard smell to help you feel alive.

So don't be scared my little butterfly, just wet your cardboard a little, keep the charger up your arse, and Voila! No problems at all.

Yours with a hot cross bun,

Boxy

boxhead in london riots adjust

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  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 7 days ago
    The flames of capitalism are gunna burn us all Boxy!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 6 days ago
    Looks like Boxy has even survived the flames of Brixton! Undoubtable proof that his 'slightly' moist box theory works.
    But for our Frenchy friend I reckon he is gunna need a box of asbestos to ward off the fire at his place.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 6 days ago
    If you done it right the box would be moist from beer splutter.
    • This commment is unpublished.
      · 6 days ago
      @Donny I can see that Don. The beer spluttering down the fissures and crevices of his noggin holder as Boxy sucks another can dry. 
      And those blank eyes... glassy and wet. Gazing out of the blackness like death itself.
      And so I too, raise a tinny to the BoxMan, with the hope that freedom for all doesn't just mean 6 feet underground.
    • This commment is unpublished.
      · 6 days ago
      @Wandering Poet Fark
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 days ago
    Any of you cunts going to the snow?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 4 days ago
    Too busy talking to A.I. for any petty activities Don.
    • This commment is unpublished.
      · 4 days ago
      @All In On AI Yeh, this AI shit is really taking off. Maybe time for Xenoxnews.com to whip up their own version. Whaddya reckon Tex?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 4 days ago
    As long as you call it Crok I approve.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 4 days ago
    Hay boy, I piss on 'ol Boxboy's head tar keep 'm cool, fiar-proof 'n smell'n like a Kanberra Kanker-sore Kowboy.  He tain't catch a flame yet!!!  'N you 'member, when it come a time tar vote.....
    RIKKKARDOVITZ FER PRIME MINISTER 'O ALL AUSTRALIA!!!  (Jest rite in KKK, 'n I git ya covered, boy). 
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 4 days ago
    Howdy.  Maltese Falcon of the Rebels Motorcycle Club  giving ya a shout-out on this rip-snorter news outlet. We're just a group of restless riders tearing through Brisbane's outskirts at the moment. This Rikardovits bloke, a hang-around you know, reached out to us to become a patched member.  He gave Xenox News as a reference and told us to leave a comment and someone would vouch for him.  Seems like got some mickey-mouse political ambitions too. The Rebels could use someone like that.  
    So, what say you - admit him or curb-stomp him?
    The Maltese Falcon - 1%er for life.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 days ago
    I had a Ford Falcon once. Well it was a Ford. OK fine but I am going for my license one day.
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