#AskBoxhead - When You Gonna Help Me Git Elected Prime Minister, Boxboy???

2 minutes read

Dear Boxboy,

You needa be on 'ol Ricky's team tar git 'lected Prime Misister of Austrelia. Gonna git me some RICARDOVITZ FER PRIME MINISTER T-shirts printed up with a some perty freedom-shelias on thar back:

Rickys Cousins

 We gotta git this here campaign goin!!! How can a feller like you, support me?

Love,
Ricardovitz

Dear Ricky,

You know, the thought of taking High Political office has also often flitted through my mind. I can see myself riding a wave of popular discontent with the way things are. I would select a crack team of XenoxNews contributors as my Cabinet. Max Gross would take Foreign Affairs. Mad Mike the Marketing Guru could run the Treasury. Flimmy would be Finance Minister. And of course I would have that pervert Herr Fucknuckle as my Health Minister.

And on top of it all would be me. PM Boxhead. I am sure I would be elected in a landslide, and all Australia would then be gladly under my command. I have some plans you know Ricky, big plans...

boxhead on the balcony 1

After his election, New PM Boxhead addresses the thronging crowds outside of Parliament.

So forget about your half arsed idea Ricky and get on board the 'Boxy for Canberra' Bandwagon. We will steamroll all opposition. I will have the minions of that geriatric fuckwit Murdoch eating out of my hand.

A new dawn and a new future will be there for all Australians once I am PM...

But then I wake up, and realise that it would be better for me to just remain plain old Boxy. And that there would be no way in hell I'd vote for a fuckwit like you Ricky.

 

Yours electorally,

Boxhead

standing boxy

 

 

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  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    I don't know about having that Fucknuckle in your Cabinet Boxy. He was PM once (https://www.xenoxnews.com/local/2864-aussie-pm-herr-fuckednuckle-my-plans-for-australia) and could be a rival if your Government hits rough waters.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    I will vote for the candidate who is going to do more for couch lovers.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Forget the couch ya lazy prick, we will build a cushioned box for you to rest in.
    6 foot under and for eternity.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    @Hardworking Balt Sounds fine as long as I can screencast and order ubereats.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    @On The Couch Lazy fucker! We will send you down to the Bakhmut front to protect us from Putin. That'll teach you about your vagabond ways!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Boxy you sound like a bit of an authoritarian leader... Wouldn't be surprised if you were a Putin and Xi fan as well. I think I will need to talk to my Atlantic Council mates about your pro-disinfo point of view.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    I do believe I spotted a typo there in your response, Boxy. You said 'crack team' instead of 'crock team'.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Welp, Thar ya have it. Tain't no one who want Boxboy tar be Prime Minister. So, I declare me, Ricardovitz thar winner of this here primary election. Now, onward Christian Soldiers, we goona take thar good fight to them people of Asurrailia. RICARDOVITZ FER PRIME MINISTER. The South is fix'n ta git higher 'n a Kike on crack.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Looky here, boys 'n girls, David Littleproud hisself congratulated yer Xenoxnews Candidate, Ricardovitz!!!.

    "The Nationals have bucked the trend of the Coalition in Victoria and importantly won back two seats from sitting Independents and also won back a victory for Ricardovitz.

    As well as that, The Nationals successfully transitioned Annabelle Cleeland in Euroa from the retiring Steph Ryan.

    He has welcomed The Nationals MP for Mildura Jade Benham, The Nationals MP for Morwell Martin Cameron. But, the Nationals are most proud of the Ricardovitz victory." Well, thar ya have it, folks in Australia is want'n ta hear more from yer vary own Ricardovitz!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Yeh The Nationals are about your fit Ricky. In bred country hicks, with brains the size of peas, and a solid 3% support of the electorate.
    Definitely the party of fuckwits a sissy-fucker like you would appreciate.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    That thar 3% kin turn ta 300% in a blink of the rye. Ricardovitz fer Prime Minister of Australia!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Nationals Fer Ricardovitz!!!






    https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.crwflags.com%2Ffotw%2Fimages%2Fa%2Fau%257Dnatnl.gif&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=8a37c453e8368be1eaf042398f721cccfe90bc3e00dd4d83fd9ce09184810ccb&ipo=images
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Why don't you kill yourself?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    Prefer to be born again instead.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    I have tickets to the next event at Festival Hall. You are most welcome to join us! Peace.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    @Russell Harvey Up for it Russ. Sounds like it'll be a ripper of a night. Hope there will be a few sheilas we can introduce ourselves to as well ;)
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 3 years ago
    The story goes that Hillsong bought Festival Hall with the $30 million that Cuntmo gifted them under the guise of Job Keeper. Jesus would be livid.
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