Ask Boxhead - Shit Won't Float

boxl

Got a problem? Give Boxhead a call! He'll straighten you out in no time.

 

Today we have Franky from the Eastern Suburbs of Melbum with his tale of woe...

 

Dear Mr Boxhead,

I have noticed many changes as my life cycles on to its inevitable demise. Greying hair. Lack of hair. Sagging skin. Decrepit penis.

But I have noticed another thing lately. My shit don't float. Why on Earth would that be?

Frankly Getting Older,

Oakleigh

 

Dear Frank,

Yes time sure does march on. It’s been a while for meself as well.

Yeh, even I notice the time passing. But as my Scone is in Cardboard, to the rest of the World I appear still and unchanging. The only thing that varies is the colour of my cerebral accoutrement.

And I reckon I keep my lower parts in pretty good shape too. Perhaps that’s why I am doing better than you old Frankie.

 

Time to get your noggin in a cardboard box Frank. Don't be ashamed; I reckon the Missus will love not having to look at your ugly old mug anymore. And who knows. Maybe your bowels will start working properly again.

Love,

Boxy

Boxhead by the pool for the wedding

 

Loading comment... The comment will be refreshed after 00:00.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    Boxy your eyes. Your eyes are black like holes to the centre of the Universe.
    Man in the Box! What secrets do you hide?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    Shit scared that my shit dont float? Maybe not. Shit scared that I'm gunna die? Every fucking night.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    Too much iron in Franky's diet???
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    What if the shit fits?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    @Bartholomew Bloat Then wear it Bart!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    What you pepl stupit talk why? Not for good I thing! Trump like Putin great man for pepl but not stupit like you
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    @Anonymous We were reporting on the evilness of Putin long before the Lame Stream Media https://www.xenoxnews.com/entertainment/astral-travelling/2061-the-satanic-heritage-of-vladimir-putin
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    @Xenox News Foreign Affairs Rubbish! Vlad is just your garden variety conservative leader. Nothing more, nothing less. As for claiming he somehow arranged the US election so that Trump would win... how moronic do you have to be to believe this!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 8 years ago
    You git you a job yet, boy??? How's 'bout you come on down here 'n pick me some cabbage. I'll feed you 'n whip you into a right goood worker. Bring somme 'owyr buds with ya koo, stoney brookmonk. Shew drift'n down the faaaaast flow'n pond cray.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 7 years ago
    With the clown Trump in charge my turds not only float wrong but they are also now green. What on earth can we do to restore sanity and put Hilary in charge as God planned it?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 7 years ago
    Hey, Ace-boy, Hillary, she gonna git charged. Charged with all them crimes she done did like stealin money from the DNC 'n secrete emails with Russian Czars 'n whatnot. Hillary git Bill's pecker preserved in her spar denture jar. Hillary fertilizes it with Rogain 'n Biagra. I hear it's done grown some roots 'n Hillary gonna have it planted up top of her front stank-hole. We call that her "Stank Fanny-hole" here in Alice Springs.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 7 years ago
    @Ricardovitz There is a perverse hillbilly haunt,

    Tucked inside Ricky's brain.
    It is as big as pea,
    and full of green and shit.
    Don't worry about Hilary Ricky!
    Me and the comrades are gunna gulag your ass soon enough.
    No matter how many pop guns you got.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 7 years ago
    Dead Ted, we git you sorrounded thar in Stanklanta, boy. Dern't you 'n yer hommies wonder north 'o Buckhead, nor south 'o Griffin, er west 'o Stone Mountain, er even think 'bout head'n toward that Alabama line!!! Jest a bit a learn'n fer ya if'n you find yerself lost 'mong a sea 'o white people - say yassir 'n yass'm 'n spit-shine my the masser's black boots fer buss fair back ta Stanklanta.!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 6 years ago
    My shits too big to sink
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 6 years ago
    @Talis Get a bigger dunny then mate. Maybe some handles on the side to make sure you don't fall in.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Eat meat; shit sinks. Eat plants; shit floats. Stink or swim.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @Muscle bound vegan Best to not shit at all. Eat sparingly, and use every morsel to power your wonderful life. Don't let anything go to waste.
Write comments...
symbols left.
or post as a guest

Latest News

The Year That Is 2026

From The Archives