Xenoxnews.com resident agony aunt climbs out of the gutter and gets behind the typewriter to answer your questions!
#1 Subject: Existentialism
Dear Boxhead,
Please elucidate: am I or have I ever been?
Thank you,
Frederick
Dear Fred,
What would you prefer? To be or not to be?
I think we are very lucky in that we get to have both choices.
Alive – be.
Dead – not to be.
Hard not to like that, isn’t it?
Love,
Boxy
#2 Subject: Singapore
Dear Box Face.
Is it true they named Singapore, Singapore, because the rich would sing to the poor?
Yours,
Squatting in denim shorts
Dear Denim Squat,
Don’t know about this one mate. Reckon that town be a little too hot and sweaty for a man with his mug in a box; it’ll be way too close and moist inside the cardboard for my liking!
Hard to think the rich would sing to the poor anywhere, probably more like Piss on the Poor I’d reckon! Especially those damn Chinese rich bastards, they just about own the entire world as it is.
Cunts.
Yours thoughtfully,
Boxy
#3 Subject: #respill and #auspol
Dear Boxhead,
All this talk about loyalty in politics is confusing. I am so confused that I am going to ask you three questions and hope you can clear this up for me.
Is the disloyalty involved in knifing someone to advance your own position un-Australian?
What about knifing someone who unscrupulously publicly knifed you not so long before? Is this un-Australian?
Finally, is it un-Australian to call someone disloyal and a white ant if to gain your position you had to also be disloyal and also engage in white anting of the same person?
Yours sincerely,
Hopelessly Confused
Mount Buggery, Victoria
Dear Hopeless,
Sorry I’ve been ‘away’ for a while and missed all the political shenanigans. Who won? Who lost? Fucked if I know, or give a damn.
But on your point of what’s ‘un-Australian’ or not about getting ‘knifed’ I’d point you to the founding of our great nation of BBQs and Tony Abbott supporters. Ask the original boongs whether they think being knifed in the back is an essential white Aussie trait; I reckon their answer would be an emphatic yes!
OK that’s it. Back to the slab for me!
Boxhead
