What type of English Royal Family Do we Want?

1 minute read

Questions have been raised about the Germans in Buckingham Palace...

 Queen Mum on the Piss

Maybe it is time for a rebrand. Let's get them some new PR hacks, and get ourselves a brand fucking new Royal Family.

 

First, bring back the beards...

wiilliam beard 1212536c

They give a real Gravitas.

 williams great grandad

 

Now Queen Liz. She should get out and about a bit more. Opening doors and closing shows.

Make her a lipstick leso, the licks of which we have never seen before!

page three girl 16 20140424 1448958439

Show me Liz! Show me!

We could get some of the younger layabout Royals on a tour of the Colonies. It worked in the 50s, surely it will again. They can bring their special Hanoverian light to the darkness.

 

Maybe Prince Harry's missus could go and visit her relatives?

 

 

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Members of the English Press being briefed by the Palace

 

And how about giving little Prince Georgie a makeover... Perhaps he could become a little Princess Georgina? What a wonderful woke message that would send out!

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Artist rendition of Princess Georgina when she ascends the throne.

 

 

 

And if that doesn't work then get rid of the whole fucking lot of them.

fuck em 83 20140424 1917944003

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    I reckon the whole Prince Harry and the missus blow up is just a stunt. Give them time, there will be a reconcilliation and the press will love them again. The youtube show will probably be hosted by Piers
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    How about one on sticks? You know, their heads on sticks after they have been chopped off.

    I reckon that would go down well with the punters.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Why can't we have an Aussie Queen? Wouldn't it be lovely! Could put their Palace in Rooty Hill; make them the real Monarch of the Masses.

    Perhaps when ScoMo gets the boot his Jenny could take on the job? She could Knight Aussie Heroes in their Hillsong Church! What a wonderful story for all us Aussies it would be.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @True Believer Dunno about a Queen but a few years ago we had a [url=https://www.xenoxnews.com/entertainment/celebrity-tales/2544-blank-66483352]Princess[/url]
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Elton John is yer Queen 'o England.  Is thar an Abo Queen 'o Australia?  I reckon thar ain't. Why thar ain't? Cuz we dern't need no stink'n queens in The Land 'O Thar South!!!  England is fer Queens, so Aussie Land 'll donate all its Queens to England.  This is fer ta spread the AIDS to all them swarthy Pakis 'n foreigners in England.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @Ricardovitz Oh Elton is our Queen? Sounds delightful!

    And who then is the Queen of your Green Land of Georgia my good man? Would it be some dress wearing fairy from Atlanta? Or perhaps a toga clad intellectual flit from Athens GA?
    Whoever it is I bet they are big and strong, and like a poke in the bum as most good white men of the South do. And I should know as I have poked a few thete on my visits. Even in Clayton, Georgia.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Hey, boy, thar ain't no queers north of Blacklanta. All them monkeys you is anal-fornicate'n git the AIDS 'n dern't never leave theys monkey-pens.  But, if'n you must know who The Queen of Appalachia (N. Georgia) is, I'm a here ta tell you....Dolly Parton.  She's a turn'n 70-someth'n, 'n 'll run rings 'round Queen Elton.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    She a bit liberal though Ricky, don't you think?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Liberal???  I reckon Aw's a li'll rough on the Beaver last night. Everthang was all quiet 'n peaceful-like.  Jest a Lord-blessed night.  Then, I smelt a beaver pelt in my future. Waited quietly, the old Osage tree.  Waited.....waited....waited.  She was near alright.  Waited.....waited......waited....thar she was in all her glory.   I had my boot-knife handy 'n razor sharped. Then, with a long forward thrust 'n a flick-o-the-wrist slash, blood was squirt'n 'n I heard the most Gawd-awful noise fer a few seconds.  Then it was done - I had my beautiful li'll beaver pelt - all fer me 'n nowone else. Made a bloody mess of it, but she cleaned up right fine.

    [url=https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fimg.etsystatic.com%2Fil%2F1ecee4%2F1252582822%2Fil_fullxfull.1252582822_lhhc.jpg&f=1&nofb=1]https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fimg.etsystatic.com%2Fil%2F1ecee4%2F1252582822%2Fil_fullxfull.1252582822_lhhc.jpg &f=1&nofb=1[/url]

  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    "You know what they call them on Deeside?'' The wee man in the Glasgow pub thrust his face closer to mine. "The Germans, that's what they call them, the Germans.''
    The 1914-18 war changed everything. Germany and things German, once admired, were now anathema. Dachshunds were stoned in the streets and George V decided that the family name was now an embarrassment. 
    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/how-royal-family-shook-their-german-roots-7907498.html
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @Randolf Hearse Off with all their fucking heads. And turn Buckingham Palace into a refuge for the homeless.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    I see yer King Philip is in fer the big Dirt Nap. Lost his balls a century ago.  You think thar Queen 'll have the dickless 'n sackless king 'o England stuffed and placed on her farplace mantel?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Phil is dead can we go straight to Willie as King then? Wouldn't it be lovely to have this Modern Man as the leader of the free world? And not his decrepit and perverted brother?

    Willie can put the world to its rights.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    I'll fornicate with Liz like a wild boar on a dirty sow's vag-hole, if'n she 'll make me King.  Vote for Ricardovitz - King of England  'n sow fornicator FER THAR PEOPLE!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @Ricardovitz Well Ricky I never! I thought you were a true follower of God's word.

    And besides, who would want to fornicate with an Anglican...
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    I am all 'bout the Lord's Word.  But, if'n thar Lord wants me ta be King 'o England, 'n I got ta fornicate with Lizzy, well, I'm gonna make that pecker stand at attention 'n poke 'er right in that 'ol pussy.  I'll do it fer y'all.  I'm gonna kill them Commies with my luv.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @Ricardovitz Really Ricky? Have you told your sister about this? Because I would think she has ownership on that little peashooter of yours.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Dern't worry none 'bout Sissy.  She got her lippy on 'n is work'n my pick'n engineers like a rabid bitch on a basket of mice. Bless her soul.  Thar strong shall survive; the weak 'll become hog-slop.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    @Ricardovitz Sissy? What sort of numbknucle name is that? Is that what you call her when you diddlin'? Or is it your mama that springs to your perverted hillbilly mind?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 5 years ago
    Could we have an English Breakfast Roya Family? That would be my cuppa tea.
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