Max Gross Watch - Lookin for Joos in all the wrong places

The man who never was? When I see too many, I think there ain't any! Cthulhu, Satan, Cartman, Homer Simpson, even Jesus - all real enough I guess, but Max? Max Gross? What's in a name?

I've seen pictures of him!

Would that be orange joos or perhaps apple joos? Rather than fruit beverages, it was my understanding that Max has a distinct preference for vodka spritzers.

I cant believ you know how to use a fucken keyboard let lone read or wtite you dumb shit. When did they connect electricity to your redneck hovel? Probably got a bidet as well, right?

I could not form any readable anagrams from the Max Gross name. That proves that the name is some kind of fraud. The world is full of these unperson black holes named Max Gross. How can they be Jews when they don't even physically exist? My best theory is that the aliens are projecting some kind of mental implant into the vegetable folk of this planet. If I am right, we should soon see the motherships of their transgalactic expeditionary extermination force in our skies.

think I know nothin. But, I do. Yessiree, I do.

See, I know what's goin on in this here Satan-Sicko world of ours. I see thar Devil for what he is. Thar Devil is Muslim. And, anyone who dern't declair "MUSLIM IS EVIL" from thar heart, they's just been had thar eye's spraypainted black so's they cain't see. Blinded by thar Devil's spraypaint.

Now, I'm gonna sum it all up fer ya:

1. Obama's a dumb nigga who dern't know nothing 'bout nothin. Dumber than a retarded field hand.

2. Drug-guzzling radical old hippies got Obama all Hollywooded up and got that dumb ol' boy incharege of USA Nukes.

3. Yer Kevin Rudd ain't nothin but a pansey-assed, lame-brained, pot-smokin porn hussler. I got a 8 year old cuzin who could curb-stomp that thin skull of his lickity spit.

4. Max Gross is a Muslim-humpin Joo who done guzzled so much drugs and licker that he dern't know his ass end from his dern knee-cap. Boy, I'm here to tell you that old Anarchyists dern't know when to mind thar own. Nosiree, them old Anarchyists they go a workin fer thar CIA. Ain't that right, Maxy.

This world's been a takin over by Muslims, curtosey of thar Hollywood Jews and Homosexuals. It's time fer a good old fasioned Crusade!!

5. Thar ain't no aliens, fools - tain't never been none here on this planet.

6. Y'all need to listen up. Y'all need guns and plenty of ammo. Y'all need to quit huffin and puffin them drugs of yers. Y'all need God in yer heart and Satan at the Muzzle end of yer gun.

Thar's gonna be a war. A BIG WAR. It's commin boys and girls, and y'all is still jest jackin around. What y'all need is someone like me to be yer leader. I'm tellin ya - pull that thar lever for RICARDOVITZ in 2010.

I was greatly alarmed when I applied simple English Gematria to the Max Gross name and returned 696 (not 666).
Here is a short list of some 696 names:-
Max Gross
John Howard
Tony Blair
Old Hellmaker
Pecker licker
Smegma licker
Queer nazi
Queer joy
Ratlike liar
Reheated nazi
Spellbinder
The Warlock
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How in gods green earth do you "apply simple English genitalia to the Max Gross name"? Is this some form of perverted Xenox News hazing? Does it occur to new members (figuratively speaking)? Or can anyone join in? Please...

Take all the letters in some text, assign a=6, b=12, c=18, d=24 etc., and add all the letter values to get a result.
Here is an example list of names that equal 666 :-
centrelink
computer
rotten egg
santa claus
satan shit
simon crean
illusion
insanity
judas shit
kissinger
mark of beast
nauseating
new labour
new york
evil turd

Here is a list for 444 :-
english
gematria
gospel
harlot
homicidal
increase
jesus
jewels
jewish
joshua
lucifer
martial
masonic
menorah
messiah
obedient
occult
sabotaged
severe
shithead
tarot
the key
the king

Not even close, girls and boys.