XenoxNews.com Classic #Poetry

During our many years of publication XenoxNews.com has been a welcoming home for poets and their poetry. In fact we love poetry so much we have a whole section dedicated to it: www.xenoxnews.com/artist/poets-corner

Unfortunately not all our poetry can be found there; and in fact some rhymes that grace our pages can slip from view with the passing of time. So I have decided to resurrect some of our best (and worst) from the archives so you, dear reader, can appreciate the wonder of XenoxNews. com Poetry!

Here is a classic from Old Lonely Leo. He was inspired to write after the Howard Government reneged on their promise to wipe the GST from tissues:

For some naked vixens on the screen,
I emptied my sack of its semen.

Now I sit alone and wonder...


Oh Lord! For what have I spilt my seed?


I watched them frolic and insert in each other,

Devices plastic, see through, and green.

But now my keyboard is wet and my hands still sticky...


Oh Lord! For what have I spilt my seed?

 

Other ditties are perhaps not so graceful. In fact they are downright offensive. Take this example from our resident hillbilly Ricardovitz. It is gross and despicable; but what euphony! You can always substitute your most disliked person(s) in place of the rascist epithet he uses:

 

The other day I took a fishin' trip
Just me and my boat, and no Banjo lip
Banjo was my guide, an old colored feller
He wasn't very dark, he was a high-steppin' yeller
So we launched my boat, and I cranked my motor
And up to my nose came a terrible odor
I looked around, tryin' to find somethin' dead
But it was Banjo with his arm up, scratchin' his head

Some niggers never die

They just smell that way

Now the more he'd scratch, the more he'd sweat

And I'm here to say he was-a-chokin' me to death
So we loaded up, I just couldn't go o­n
And I coughed and I gagged, all the way home
When I dropped him off, I was next to dine
My nose was-a-runnin, and my eyes were-a-cryin'
The smell scorched the hair right out of my nose
When I got home I had to burn all my clothes

Some niggers never die

They just smell that way

 

Not much you can say after that, is there.

Except to let you know that I will be ferreting out more classics over the coming weeks, so keep your eyes open for XenoxNews.com Poetry!

 

 

Loading comment... The comment will be refreshed after 00:00.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 14 years ago
    For me a poem must have rhythm and tambre; and a damned if-you-do damned if-you-don't insouciance. It must flow from the pen like jism from my hardened stalk; other wise what is the point?

    I mean really, what is the point?

    Those two examples above, though dealing with completely different subject matter, did elevate me to a higher state of being. Their clash of the consonants and the vexing of the vowels, along with a complicated analysis of issues affecting us all at this time, indicates to me that these poet provocateurs are leading a new wave of rhyming and stealing.

    I await more flights of fancy from the illustrious pages of this journal.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 14 years ago
    Xi Jinping,
    He's a misining,
    Tain't nobody seen 'em
    Chinks dern't' ware no bling bling
    Anywhoo, that whore Gu Kailai done KILLED 'EM
    Xi's stiffer 'n a tarred possum,
    Deader than a drowned baby china-girl
    Jumpin Jinping
    The Mooncrickets is chirpin!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 14 years ago
    There once was a fella called Ric
    who developed a troublesome tic
    He tried drinking it off
    with some slops from the trough
    and by pouring hot tar on his dick
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 14 years ago
    Prophet Mohammed, a wicked Devil-Whore was he,
    Hated Doggies 'n loathed a woman's pussy,
    But, Prophet Mohammed, he sure did love li'll boys,
    Raped 'em silly 'n stole thar toys,
    'N when he was done bugger'n his l'ill boy-slaves,
    He boxed some up 'n stuffed most in graves,
    Thar rest Prophet Mohammed labeled "Baboons"
    Stuffed 'em on ships 'n sent 'em 'cross waves
    Ta pick cotton by day 'n thieve by night like coons.





  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 14 years ago
    So daring Ricky!
    Really; very daring.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 14 years ago
    I once had a head full of poetry. Now the wires are crossed; neurons shriveled. Microglia inflammed and pus filled.

    Years of imbibing from the popular culture cup has left me bereft of rhyme and at a loss to speak in public.

    All I can do now is read the Daily Mail on line...
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    What about the 'it' word?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 13 years ago
    There once was a fellow called Mitt
    Who knew not shinola from shit

  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    @Ricardovitz 12 years later and the fucker is running the globe.

    Damned fiendish those Chinese.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    @Goon but not forgotten Done told ya Boy, Xi Jinping be DEAD - git replaced by 2 Kommie-Klones already!!! Chink Klones dern't last but 5 years max. They start out as near-aborted North Korean mosters, 'n then shipped off tar China fer "enhancements". Now ya know thar Fair Dinkum Truth - whatcha gonna do with it???
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    @Riicardovitz Old Sleepy Joe looks like a clone whose battery is running out. They should charge him up as quick as possible or else the Orange Man gunna win
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    @LordyLordyLordy Brain transplant?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    @Dreary Diedre His had a hair transplant, so sure, why not shove a few more neurons into that decaying cavity on top of his shoulders
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    C'mon man! I marnararm.....Marlin Monroe said my hair rr real - just yester....anyway, don't tell Jill. All you dog-faced lying pony soldiers, I DIDN'T FORNICATE JILL WHILE MARRIED TO ER HUSBAND, BILL. We didn't meet until after Jill was divorced - - well, yeah, Bill contributed to my campaign and Jill watched my children while I was campaigning, and I only fornicated her 17 times in the pussy and 4 times in the anal-duct while Bill went off to see Bruce Springsteen....anyway.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    Joe! They tells me ya giving up. Say it aint so Joe!

    Say it aint so!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 2 years ago
    Ricky, I'M NOT GOING, first.....let me say that jew-bastard Schmuck Groomer is back-stabbing....and my son Hunter - HE'S NOT A LOSER AND A SUCKER, sure he smokes crack 'n he makes love to 12 year old girls, but you tell me who doesn't...and don't make me sniff back-stabbing Pelosi's hair - it reeks of chemicals and death, not like those little girls I get to sniff.....anyway.....we.......we beat Medicare.
Write comments...
symbols left.
or post as a guest

Latest News

The Year That Is 2026