Steal'n My Moonshine - A Better National Anthem

Who is this McTiller fella? Seems like a right salty bum! I bet he is related to one of those pig-stealing Hatfields. In fact I'd bet my sister's well used pussy on it!

Steal softly thru sunshine.
Steal softly thru snow.

@Joe McCoy Salty? Cain't rightly say, cuz I dern't go 'round lick'n bums, queer-boy. McTillers be thar last 'o mixed-breed theiv'n mountain trash. My pa hobbled his pa fer steal'n his moonshine. Tain't noth'n but theiv'n drunkards. Dern't know no mean'n 'o property lines.

Pa made me 'n brother Kalib take cover in a thicket one early morn. Pa setupon his night still ower dusty coals, jest barely warm'n thar mash up . Jest 'nuff fer 'ol drunk McTillers ta git a wiff 'o Pa's morn'n dew. Sho 'nuff, me 'n Kal heard drunk McTillers mess'n with dat thumper, click-clang'n 'bout like a dumb one-eyed bear. We run-up on 'm (dern't need a run, he too damn whooped tar barely crawl), jump 'ol man McTillers 'n bat-beat his left leg ta sawdust.

Pa dragged busted-up McTillers' ower ta one of thar nigga cabins; paid a Gal ta fix McTillers up from croak'n. 'Bout a work-week later, Pa paid visit tar McTillers, 'n found he done raped that Gal silly soon as he cood git his hands 'round her. Git dat Gal big with his seed. Some months later, Junior got born. He come early. Someth'n tain't right wid Junior, dern't know what - I ain't no doctor.

That nigga-Gal took one look at ugly Junior 'n give 'm tar Pa, ball'n like she gonna die 'er somept'n. Pa throwed Junior aside and commence tar whoop'n Kal wid a strap, hate all welled-up in Pa's eyes, bark'n on 'bout how dis be me and Kal's fault. Told us not tar step foot on his land till dis here "thing" get settled wid 'ol man McTillers. So, Pa throwed Junior ta Kal 'n we commenced on find'n McTillers. Found 'm soon 'nuff steal'n from neighbour-Hauler. Gave 'm his boy, Junior, wrapped in a 'tater-sack. Ugly, half-breed, shit'n-machine.

Kal told McTillers Pa want 'm ta raise Junior, 'n Pa 'll give 'm work so's he could keep feed'n Junior's shit-hole. I told McTillers ta stop his theiv'n 'n not go nowares near Junior's Ma. He done as we told. But, dat Junior McTillers - he turned ta be a worse, no-good, lazy, theiv'n drunk bum than his Daddy. So, now ya knows when I tell ya "YA DERN'T KNOW NOTH'N" its cuz ya dern't know diddly-shit.